Dear list, This was too good not to send! THE SHIPWRECKED TECHNICIAN > A rather inhibited piano technician finally splurged on a luxury cruise > to the Caribbean. It was the "craziest" thing he had ever done in his > life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared > upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child's toy. Somehow the > technician, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash > ashore on a secluded island. > > Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and > coconuts, there was little else. He lost all hope and for hours on > end, sat under same palm tree. One day, after several months had passed, gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appeared. > > "I'm from the other side of the island," she said. "Were you on the > cruise ship, too?" > > "Yes, I was, " he answered. "But where did you get that rowboat?" > "Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced > gunnel from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a > Eucalyptus tree." > > "But, what did you use for tools?" asked the man. "There was a very > unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side of the > island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my > kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. Anyhow, that's how I got > the tools. But, enough of that," she said. "Where have you been > living all this time? I don't see any shelter." > > "To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach," he said. "Would > you like to come to my place?" the woman asked. The technician > nodded dumbly. > > She expertly rowed them around to her side of the island, and tied up > the boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a > neat back splice. They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid > and around a Palm tree. There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in > blue and white. > > "It's not much, but I call it home." Inside, she said, "Sit down > please; would you like to have a drink?" > > "No, thanks," said the man. "One more coconut juice and I'll throw > up!" > > "It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a crude still > out back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas." > > Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat > down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged stories, the > woman asked, "Tell me, have you always had a beard?" > > "No," the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life until I > ended up on this island." > > "Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the bathroom > cabinet." > > The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the > bathroom and shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed > razor sharp. > Next he showered -- not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how > she managed to get warm water into the bathroom -- and went back > downstairs. He couldn't help but admire the masterfully carved > banister as he walked. > > "You look great," said the woman. "I think I'll go up and slip into > something more comfortable." > > As she did, the man continued to sip his Pina Colada. After a short > time, the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias, returned wearing a > revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds. > > "Tell me," she asked, "we've both been out here for a very long time > with no companionship. You know what I mean. Haven't you been > lonely, too...isn't there something that you really, really miss? > Something that all men and woman need? Something that would be > really nice to have right now!" > > "Yes there is!" the man replied, shucking off his shyness. "There is > something I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, > it was just...well, it was impossible." > > "Well, it's not impossible, any more," the woman said. The man, > practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly: "You mean... you > actually figured out some way we can CHECK OUR EMAIL HERE!!??!!" > Have a nice day! Warren -- Home of The Humor List Warren D. Fisher fish@communique.net Registered Piano Technician Piano Technicians Guild New Orleans Chapter 701
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