Merry Christmas-- Caution?? Piano Unrelated!!

[robert moffatt piano service]

robert moffatt piano service wrote:
> 
> List....in particular Susan,
> 
> Just a bit of rambling ....for fun as it were!
> 
>  THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, LEGALLY SPEAKING
> 
>       Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur
>  at
>       a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the
> House")
> 
>      a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but
>  not
>        limited to a mouse.  A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking,
>  socks,
>       etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in
>  the
>       hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa
>       Claus  (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter.
> 
>       The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned
>  House
>       were located in their individual beds and were engaged in
> nocturnal
>       hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery
>  treats,
>       including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums,
>  did
>       dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.
> 
>       Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter
>  referred
>       to as "I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with
>  the
>       parts of  the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma
> had
>       retired for a sustained period of sleep.  (At such time, the
>  parties
>       were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.)
>       Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur
>  upon
>       the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtent to said House,
>       i.e. the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause
> and/or
>       circumstance.
> 
>       The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in
> the
>       House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.  At that time,
>  the
>       party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder
>  and/or
>       disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the  Vehicle") being
>       pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately
>       eight (8) reindeer.  The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and
>  in
>       fact was, the previously referenced Claus.
> 
>       Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and
>  guidance
>       to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically
> identified
>       the animal co-conspirators by name:  Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,
>  Vixen,
>       Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter "the Deer").  (Upon
>       information and  belief, it is further asserted that an additional
>       co-conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)
> 
>       The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the
>  Deer
>       intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several
>       residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the
> House,and
>       noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and
>  other
>       items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior
>  invitation
>       or  permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at
>  the
>       House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.
> 
>       Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered
>       with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack
>  containing
>       a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown
>       items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe
>  in
>       blatant  violation of local ordinances and health regulations.
>       Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stockings
>  of
>       the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys
>  and      other small gifts.  (Said items did not, however, constitute>
> "gifts"
>       to said minors pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S.
>  Tax Code.
> 
> 
>       Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose
>  and
>       flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof
>       where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts."
>  Claus
>       immediately  departed for an unknown destination.  However, prior
>  to
>       the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the
>       party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim:
> "Merry
>       Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that
> effect.
> 
> Best,
> 
> Bob Moffatt
> 
> PS.   Great local brew!