Chopin in Majorca?

[Les Smith]

On Mon, 2 Feb 1998, Richard Moody wrote:

> > PS For those of you out there wondering: yes, Chopin still has an
> > acoustic piano, too. It's a concert grand and he keeps it at his
> > condo on the beach.  
> 
> Les, 
> 	You mean the one at Majorca?  

Majorca? No way! Look what happened to him the last tine he went there!
Chopin's in California. The dead give-away was the fact that in these days
of highly-restrictive smoking regulations,  he was still smoking a "hand-
rolled cigarette of indeterminate origin". Obviously he, like everyone
else in the club, has a doctor's prescription, allowing him to "Puff The
Magic Dragon" for medical reasons.(His is old age--pushing two hundred!) 
As a matter of fact, Chopin's newest composition is a set of variations of
that old Peter, Paul and Mary "classic" written for three pianos! The
kicker is that by composing it on his digital piano-like-object, you'll be
hearing him play all three parts at the same time! Scheduled for release
later this year, more information can be had by accessing his website at
www.chopin.com.

As for George Sand, she's history. Chopin never forgave her for leaving
him. More to the point, he quickly discovered that great pianist-com-
poser groupies in latter 20th century California, tend more towards the
bikini-clad bodacious-babe types, rather than those who wear men's
clothes and smoke cigars. Fred likes that. A lot. Poor George doesn't.  
She's really ticked-off. She doesn't like being the dumpee instead of
the dumper and now she's out for revenge. First she joined NOW. Then she
started making the TV talk show circut, telling everyone who will listen
that the fact Chopin dumped her just proves that all men are really vain,
shallow little boys whose insecurities lead them to stupidly choose  
superficial beauty over brains every time. Her tell-all book, "Dead- 
Head Fred and Me" is due out this Fall. Chopin neither knows, nor cares
what Sand is doing. He's having way too much fun.

Every night, when Chopin's finished playing at the club, he drives out
to his condo in his black  Corvette  convertible. He still has an
acoustic piano at the condo because he's discovered that it's a babe-
magnet. He's found out that here in the 20th century no one remembers his
music too well, at least not the kind of California-girls he picks up on
the beach. This works out great because then, when he takes one back to
his place, he can really impress her when he plays the piano and says
things like: "Listen, closely, Beautiful--I wrote this little Nocturne in
Eb just for you!" :)

Les Smith

PS I certainly hope that JB noticed my use of the term digital piano-
like object!