Off topic humor for all us musicians. Willem Blees St. Louis << Oracle Service Humor Mailing List wrote: >> >> A managed care company president was given a ticket for a performance >> of Schubert's "Unfinished Symphony." Since he was unable to go, he >> passed the invitation to one of his managed care reviewers. The next >> morning, the president asked the reviewer how he had enjoyed it, and >> he was handed a memorandum, which read as follows: >> >> MEMORANDUM >> >> 1. For a considerable period, the oboe players had nothing to do. >> Their number should be reduced, and their work spread over the whole >> orchestra, thus avoiding peaks of inactivity. >> >> 2. All twelve violins were playing identical notes. This seems >> unnecessary duplication, and the staff in this section should be >> drastically cut. If a large volume of sound is required, this could >> be obtained through use of an amplifier. >> >> 3. Much effort was involved in playing the 16th notes. This seems an >> excessive refinement, and it is recommended that all notes should be >> rounded up to the nearest 8th note. If this were done, it would be >> possible to use paraprofessionals instead of experienced musicians. >> >> 4. No useful purpose is served by repeating with horns the passage >> that has already been handled by the strings. If all such redundant >> passages were eliminated, the concert could be reduced from two hours >> to twenty minutes. >> >> 5. This symphony has two movements. If Schubert did not achieve his >> musical goals by the end of the first movement, then he should have >> stopped there. The second movement is unnecessary and should be cut. >> >> In light of the above, one can only conclude that had Schubert given >> attention to these matters, his symphony would probably have been >> finished by now. >> >> Submitted by: Robin Sue Rhea @ mindspring.com >> >> \\|// >> (o o) ORACLE SERVICE HUMOR MAILING LIST >> ------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo----------------------------------------------- >>
This PTG archive page provided courtesy of Moy Piano Service, LLC