-------- Original Message -------- Subject: Fwd: Fw: darwin awards Date: Sun, 19 Mar 2000 20:34:34 EST From: "Dan Weitzel" <dan_weitzel@hotmail.com> To: gnewell@en.com, mike_grum@hp.com, rayd55@hotmail.com, tom_meara@hp.com Thought you might enjoy this! Regards Dan >From: "John & Cheri Westfall" <JCFALLWEST@CERNYCORP.COM> >To: "Trey Baker" <TREY@BEORC.COM>, "Trey Baker" <trey@mid-way.com>, "Robbie >Carroll" <ROBCERT@IPASS.NET>, "Mike Woods" <wmwoods1@aol.com>, "Kris & Tom >Johnson" <webmaster@cafe57.com>, "Joice Blackson" <jblackson@isa.org>, >"jimmy carroll" <jimmy@ipass.net>, "Jackie Winston" ><JWINSTON@HENRYWURST.COM>, "Daniel & Michelle Robertson" ><TheRobertson5@webtv.net>, "Dan Weitzel" <dan_weitzel@hotmail.com>, "Butch >& Teena" <SAVEDNGRAC@aol.com> >Subject: Fw: darwin awards >Date: Sat, 18 Mar 2000 08:30:35 -0500 > > >-----Original Message----- >From: Dale <NASCAR2@centuryinter.net> >To: stacy carothers <carothers@suite224.net>; Skip & Mary Ann ><skipandmaryann@1st.net>; Jennie <J24Lindsey@yahoo.com>; John & Cheri ><jcfallwest@cernycorp.com>; Dirk <dirke@lor.net> >Date: Thursday, March 16, 2000 11:02 PM >Subject: Fw: darwin awards > > > >-----Original Message----- >From: bobnbea@pacbell.net <bobnbea@pacbell.net> >To: Brother Bob <blay@erienet.net>; Cilpa <umbos5@aol.com>; Dale ><NASCAR2@centuryinter.net>; Debra P. <tomndebra@email.msn.com>; Ginny & >Mark <samtalk2u@earthlink.net>; Joe Anne <wolfma@erols.com>; Linda D. ><allaglow@juno.com>; Loyce <trailerg2@aol.com>; Maria & Pat ><pmkjh@erols.com>; Marsha <mkstrong@jetlink.net>; Meg & Larry ><amrmerlmr@erols.com>; Roy & Betty <sparkyref@kellnet.com>; Sandy ><Beane4xtc@aol.com> >Date: Thursday, March 16, 2000 7:25 PM >Subject: darwin awards > > >THE 1999 DARWIN AWARDS >The long awaited 1999 Darwin "Natural Selection" Awards have been >released . These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains >of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done >the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool. >Ladies And Gentlemen...(drum roll...and envelope please). >We proudly present the 1999 "Natural Selection" awards: > > 5th runner-up: Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when > he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down >the slope on a foam pad. 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at >Central Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono >County Sheriff's Department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had >hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam >protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes >Police Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit >towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope >and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been investigated and >determined the tower he hit was the one with its pad removed. > >4th Runner-up: Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly >in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, >Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without >paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics >removed the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked >him to death. > >3rd Runner-up: Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag >standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when >it fell on him. > >2nd Runner-up: "Man loses face at party". A man at a West Virginia party >(probably related to the man in Arkansas who used the 22 bullet to >replace the fuse in his pick-up truck) popped a blasting cap into his >mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, >teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap >as a prank during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. >"Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying >to explode it", said Payne. "It wouldn't go off and this guy said I'll show >you how to set it off." "He put it into his mouth and bit down. It blew all >his >teeth out and his lips and tongue off", Payne said. Stromyer was listed >in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according >to a spokesperson at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't >imagine >anyone doing something like that," Payne said. > >1st Runner-up: Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon >man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and >will be released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his >right eye last weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, >Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men >Anonymous) in Grant's Pass, Oregon. A friend tried to shoot a beer can >off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye. Doctors said that >had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would >have >been cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Doctor Johnny >Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went >through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip protruding at the rear of >his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw >also said that had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out on his own he >surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted afterwards he and his >friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb >about this". No charges have been filed, but the Josephine County >district attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under >investigation. > >Now this year's winner: > >John Pernicky and his friend, Sal Hawkins, of the great state of >Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the George >Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers >between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine >foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pick-up truck over >to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100 pounds >heavier than Mr. Hawkins, to hop the fence and then assist his friend over, >Unfortunately for Mr.Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side >of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through >a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm,) by a >large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with >a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. (Possibly) >figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and >proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally >free, >Mr. Pernicky crashed into some holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched >his entire body and now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly >branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, on landing, his >pocketknife penetrated his thigh 3 inches. Mr. Hawkins, on seeing his >friend >in considerable pain and agony, decided to throw him a rope and pull him >to safety (now he thinks of the "S" word) by tying the rope to the pick-up >truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste/state, he put >the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend >and killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed pick-up with its driver >thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive >internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under it, >half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife >in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25-feet in the >air. > >Congratulations gentlemen, you win! > > > > ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
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