tuner's nipple

[Robert Goodale]

Oh I am so sorry, I mean no disrespect, but if I try to keep a straight 
face my teeth will explode!  You have had me laughing breathless on the 
floor for fifteen minutes, and I still can't stop.  This is absolutely 
perfect for an episode of Seinfeld.  I'm reminded of the one where 
Kramer comes up with the idea of marketing a bra for fat men.  Without 
regard to what I'm sure is a valid and legitimate question, I can't help 
but feel that this is a topic just begging to be made fun of.  Truly you 
already knew this was inevitable when you created a special e-mail 
account just for this question although that in itself makes it more 
funny!  Oh help, where do I start!

Indeed it is a problem when a tooner gets that "not so fresh feeling". 
 Let's see now, there's the "tooner's bra", (Schaff catalog No. TB-1, 
indicate size).  For those who wish to enhance themselves in order to 
look like a more experienced tooner you may opt for the "Wonder Tooner's 
Bra", (No. WTB-1, indicate "desired" size).  Of course another option 
would be to just use the scissors to cut out little nipple peek-a-boo 
holes.  This way we could have the "Best Tooner Nipples" contest at the 
convention banquet. Winners would receive the "Golden Nipple"  If you 
have hairy nipples you could where a genuine fur shirt to conceal them, 
(buckskin of course).  The other extreme is that you could "Toon 
Topless".  This may actually become a great sales promotion so long as 
you don't mind getting calls from "pianos perverts".  You could do 
"Toon-O-Grams" at bachelor parties.  You could tattoo an action model on 
your chest.  Your nipples would be the center pins.  With practice you 
could flex yourself to make a hammer look like it is hitting a string. 
 You could just lubricate your nipples with Protek.  Silicon spray of 
course could be used for... never mind, that one is to obvious!  As long 
as they are out in the wild you might as will install rings that could 
hold your regulating tools.  The rings themselves could be thickness 
gauges, (Catalog No. NG-2).  When struck they would produce a perfect 
A-440.  Don't forget the bumper stickers... "Tooner Tits Make Perfect 
Pitch", (available from the PTG home office).  Every July there would be 
the Nipple issue for the PTG Journal.

Okay, okay, I'll stop already.  I'm truly sorry for you problem but I 
know you saw it coming.  Best of luck on a solution.

Rob Goodale, RPT
Las Vegas, NV


z k wrote:

> Hello!
>
> May I  ask a slightly personal question?
>
> I have come to believe that there may be a condition that
> other tuners besides myself may have experienced at one
> time or another.
>
> I will call this condition "Tuner's Nipple".  It is a mild
> form of "Runners Nipple".
> I am not making this up :)
> http://www.robrunslondon.co.uk/RunnersNipple.htm
>
> I noticed the nipple on the side of my tuning arm getting
> itchy. On close inspection I notice some dryness and
> chaffing. I believe this is arising from a busier schedule
> than normal for me. When the tuning arm is holding the lever
> during the process of tuning a vertical the clothing on that
> side of the body is moved up and away from the body. Each
> time the lever is manipulated, especially when using the
> ~jerk~ method, the clothing can rub across the nipple. This
> can possibly be the cause of irritation and discomfort.
>
>
> Has anyone ever experienced this condition? Please reply
> privately if you have experienced this and you feel
> uncomfortable posting that fact on this list.
> Me? I got a quick, anonymous Hotmail account to post this
> message.
>
> Neeper99
> shy and easily embarrassed
>
> ps: to help alleviate any unsettling visual images this post
> may have conjured up, I exercise almost daily and am
> relatively buff for someone with such a sedentary job   :)