self tuning piano????

[Delwin D Fandrich]

You're absolutely right, Wim. This thing can't possibly work. And while
we're at it, let's trash a few other ideas that are so far out there that
they also can't possibly work: the internal combustion engine comes to mind.
All those moving -- metal sliding against metal, what a stupid idea -- parts
and trying to vaporize liquid gasoline fast enough to burn with enough force
to produce power...ridiculous. Not only is the basic idea unworkable, think
what it will do to the economy. All the wagon makers, horse farms and stable
workers will be out of jobs, not to mention the rig repairers and wagon
technicians. Surely the world will be awash in unemployment if the big
manufacturers go ahead with these foolish ideas. And I understand there are
a couple of fool brothers somewhere who are even working on a way to get one
of these engines to power some kind of mechanical contraption they call an
aeroplane. This aeroplane thing -- as ungainly and as heavy as it is -- they
hope to get off the ground and make fly through the air. Now everyone knows
just how stupid that idea is. Why that thing is a whole lot heavier than
air.

Well, I'll not go on. It's clear that we must trash every new idea that
comes along in this business. And the sooner the better. After all, the
piano business is so robust and thriving just now it would be a terrible
shame to do anything that might upset things. It would never do to take an
idea with some obvious problems and develop it over time and actually make
it work. Like the spelling checker, for example. Does anyone else remember
how ungainly and awkward they were when they first became available?
Impossible to use! Not to mention buggy, slow, inaccurate, incomplete --
really more trouble than they were worth. Besides, if one were ever made to
work well, think what it would do to the editing industry. Now they are so
simple and efficient they actually can be set up to run in the background
and make even pathetic spellers like me look good. And editors -- at least
the one to whom I'm married -- are busy correcting bad grammar, typos and
awkward sentence structure. (No, she didn't edit this -- all of the
grammatical, typos and structural errors are my own.)

Have a nice, comfortable and non-challenging day one and all....

Del

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----- Original Message -----
From: <Wimblees@AOL.COM>
To: <Pianotech@ptg.org>
Sent: July 01, 2002 1:51 PM
Subject: self tuning piano????


> In the July Journal is a hillarious article about the self tuning piano. I
know this story has been on the list before, but I just want to be sure all
of you read it, just for the fun of it. It is absolutley unreal to think
that someone could actually justify the invention of this "tool". What is
even more discouraging is that someone from the piano industry actually paid
this guy to develop and install the system in a real piano.
>
> Here are a couple of misnomers which lead this guy to think the systme
works. He thinks one of the reasons strings go out of tune is because tuning
pins slip. To solve this problem, he actually has developed a "string lock",
to permantly clamp the strings in place, making tuning pins superflous.
Tuning pins and strings do not move. (unles the pin block is bad).
>
> Another problem with the system is that the piano will be re-tuned
repeatedly to a tuning set at the factory. This tuning will be done by a
"Story & Clark Master Technician". Oh, I know the kind. The one in the booth
at the end of the production line, competing with the noise of the stringing
department. I am sure that will be a great tuning. For comparison, it took 4
CTE level tuner 5 hours to tune a piano at the convention. Do you think
there might be a differnce between the two tunings? I wonder if the piano
can be reprogrammed? Will Ed be able to do his thing on it?
>
> Mr. Gilmore's experiment "have shown that varying the pitch of a string 50
cents requires, on the average, about one watt per string". Oh that's great.
A pitch raise of 50 cents, with all the strings being tuned at the same
time. I wonder what the effect on the soundboard will be? Do you think it
will stay in tune?
>
> Mr. Gilmore, if you're lurking, please just concentrate on your job as a
engineer, and leave pianos to people who have expericen tuning and repairing
them. I'm sorry you spent so much time and engergy, not to mention money, on
a system that is a failure. You might be able to sell a few of these things
to unsuspecting customers, but you have done the tuning industry, not to
mention the whole piano industry, a great diservice inventing a usuless
electronic device. You should be ashamed of yourself for even attempting to
justify your invention.
>
> Wim Blees RPT
> Tuscaloosa, AL