Concert Tuning

[Ron Nossaman]

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>Why is it these poor-performing pianos persist in environments where it is 
>obvious the funds are available for something that plays and sounds OK?

There are plenty of very good reasons. The piano makes noise, so is fine. 
All the keys work, and hardly anyone out there in the pews knows the 
difference. The piano was originally donated, and either the donor or 
his/her descendents and all their friends are still sitting out there 
watching, if not listening. Fancy architecture, new additions, remodeling 
and general addition of sparklies elicit more glandular secretions, and 
therefore greater collection totals than a decent new piano that doesn't 
glitter in the sun for all to gaze upon and covet nearly as impressively as 
does a copper roof or Carrera marble foyer. The funding of flocks of 
missionaries to all parts of the planet that have tragically not had the 
benefit of their shepherding these past 2.4 billion years will also 
obviously take precedence over replacing a piano that already works just 
fine. Besides, it's been proven many times over that you don't need quality 
when you can generate a high enough volume. It's no different than the 
situation in the universities where the fine arts department is a vague 
rumor and their pianos mere ghosts.

But you already knew that.

I also have churches with good pianos, conscientious and organized 
administration, and realistic expectations. They're wonderful to work for, 
but there's not enough of them.


>Oh, and BTW, just curious, anyone care to share what they might commonly 
>charge for a concert tuning - on short notice - given only a one-hour 
>window of time - on a Sunday afternoon? I was just going to charge (normal 
>tuning fee) X 2, but I can easily imagine justifying additional fees for 
>the timing of it all, etc.

If they were good long time regular customers with no list of past 
offenses, I'd split the abuse with them. Maybe time and a half and mileage 
if appropriate. I'd assume they did this because of unforeseen 
circumstances, rather than chronic disorganization or random idiocy, and 
would notice that I didn't charge them a whopping big bill. On the other 
hand, if this was an out of the blue, or someone with a history of last 
minute emergencies when they have had the event scheduled for six months, 
I'd charge them more like triple.

I get an occasional call from a BIG church here, only when there's a two 
hour deadline emergency and they haven't arranged for their regular tuner 
to take care of it (which he would do cheerfully and well if they bothered 
to schedule it with him), even though it's been scheduled for months. The 
last time I went to bail them out on one of these, I spent most of a half 
hour in the dark waiting for someone to figure out how to keep the lights 
on for more than five minutes, who then disappeared to try and find someone 
who could - never to return. These days when they call, I'm sort of busy.

Ron N

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