What Not To Do

[tune4u@earthlink.net]

When called to tune a frat house piano it is universally considered rude to:

1. Inquire as to the nature of the various liquids with which the piano has
been liberally and repeatedly baptized over the years.

2. Interrupt their beer drinking, braggadocio, and general woof-woof
behavior simply to ask them to turn down or off the rap "music" coming from
their living room sound system (recently acquired from Dodger Stadium or a
similar large venue, I would think).

3. Be offended by language that would make sailors blush.

Also, when called to tune said piano--which you have never seen before, and
which you can expect to have many key and action "issues" in addition to
being 30+ cents flat--do not set the appointment for 4 pm on a school
holiday the night of the huge annual St. Patrick's Day debauchery/festival
(for which celebration/inebriation obviously began at about noon) even
though you were told they need it done immediately because they want to use
it the next day -- only to find out the group using it will be a
professional jazz ensemble from Chicago ...

It's an interesting business, is it not?

Alan Barnard
Salem, MO