Piano from Hell

[Clyde Hollinger]

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Rob,

How about just passing the buck next time?  "Sorry, but you need someone 
who specializes in this type of restoration.  I'm just not up to 
tackling something this extensive."  He might get the point after 
everyone else says they won't do it, either.  For all you know, maybe 
several other guys *did* tell him that, so he's getting desperate now.

I suppose you could suggest he send it to England.

Was he mentally competent?  I used to tune for a very pleasant elderly 
lady, but the last time I went she made irrational accusations against 
me.  I don't intend to go back, even though she did apologize later.

Regards,
Clyde

Rob Goodale wrote:

> I had one of my worst experiences as a piano technician this morning.  
> I got a call from a guy who told me his piano needed tuning and 
> repair.  I agreed to take the job.  Upon arriving I about fell over.
>  
> It turned out to be a 90 year old "Metropolitan" full upright.  It was 
> the biggest pile of crap I have ever seen outside of a land fill.  I 
> immediately started in how old the piano was and probably not 
> worth fixing but he quickly cut me off and in a heavy British accent 
> told me to "please fix it".  The "thing" had been painted white.  He 
> was now in the process of painting it gold which he proudly proclaimed 
> was "restoring the finish".  Chunks of wood were missing out of the 
> case.  I opened it to find that the action was not even screwed in 
> place, just laying in the piano.  There was one broken treble string 
> and the bass strings were black with corrosion.
> There was a crack running under the bass bridge and the apron was 
> loose.  There were broken bridal straps, broken hammers, and several 
> others that had been previously broken and reglued with string.  most 
> of the hammer return springs were out of place and some were missing.  
> One sharp was missing, the key bushings were worn out, someone did a 
> poor job at recovering the keys, and the pivot pin on the sustain 
> pedal had been sheared off completely and the bushing block was shattered.
>  
> He continued on about what a "great piano" it was as I looked at the 
> sad heap.  I calmly explained that there was simply nothing left to 
> fix, the piano was dead and what he needed was a new piano.  He came 
> back with "You Yanks, your all alike.  You throw anything away.  In 
> England we would never throw out a fine instrument like this!"  Then 
> he bragged about how he KNEW what he was talking about because HE was 
> a pianist!  (Oh golly silly me, I should have worshipped his feet on 
> the spot!)  Then he proudly announced that he bought it from an 
> auction so it MUST be a good piano!  (Now there's reasoning for you).
>  
> I continued to explain that I was trying to save him money, that it 
> would cost him far more to repair than to replace it.  He demanded to 
> know how much.  I explained that it would cost hundreds just to make 
> it produce sound again and even then it would be nothing but trouble.  
> "Oh no I don't want to do all that, I just want it REPAIRED, you know, 
> so that it works"!  (Excuse me didn't I just say that?  Do we need 
> subtitles for this conversation?"  I then explained that what the 
> piano really needed was a complete restoration and that would cost at 
> least $10,000.00.  "I'm trying to save you money, this piano is NOT 
> worth it, you really should consider buying another piano".  He again 
> reminded me that he was a pianist and that he knew this piano 
> was worth it and that it really didn't need that much work.  Finally I 
> just told him flat out that I couldn't help him and that I really 
> didn't have the time to spend three days working on it.  His 
> disposition continued to get worse as I made a hasty exit.
>  
> Shame on me... after all this guy was a "pianist" and got it from an 
> auction so he MUST know what he's talking about!
>  
> Rob Goodale, RPT
> Las Vegas, NV


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