Inviting Flames was Re: Never Been Tuned

[Alan Barnard]

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Actually, the mellowing agent of choice is not vodka or Vallium. It's that happy little pill called Damitol. Or the old family cold remedy my beloved grandma used to make; here's the recipe: Squeeze the juice from two bottles of Scotch, stir to desired consistency. Serves 6 (or fewer, depending on the mood).

I think I'll submit an application for a government grant to answer the "Where does the tension go" question. I'll bet it's worth half a million bucks. Let's see ... where did I put that phone number for Matthew Lesko .... 

Or maybe I can find him on line at  www.moststupifyinglyobnoxiouslittledweebevertomakeradiocommercials.com

Alan Barnard
Salem, Missouri


----- Original Message ----- 
From: Susan Kline 
To: Pianotech
Sent: 06/29/2005 4:21:41 PM 
Subject: Re: Inviting Flames was Re: Never Been Tuned


At 03:51 PM 6/29/2005 -0500, you wrote:

Maybe (Egad!) I'm wrong. 

Now, no need to take drastic measures. <grin> 



But I still want to know what would permanently change in a piano to take
pitch down—in this case 700 cents! 

I can't believe the wire stretches that much or the case warps that much or
the plate shifts (at all) .... it's a heck of a mystery. Where does the
tension go?

Maybe this piano went to a spa, got a really good massage, and took Vallium
...

Maybe I treated it with vodka, and it got all mellow ... 

Maybe the board flattened, flatter than a pancake ... (is negative bearing flatter than a pancake?) Then there are those bridge pins, you know, the ones that have bent over backwards to be accommodating. ("We don't _need_ no stinkin' sidebearing!") That and a flat board go along with Ontario summers and winters, many, many, summers and winters, one after another, back and forth, trading off one on one, in the way they do. 

And remember those sagging tuning pins in the deep bass? You know, the ones with the little quarter-moons of space above them, where they've been pulled down enough to lean on the plate? While the tenor wasn't quite that bad, I imagine (this tuning was in 1979, I imagine, not remember) that they had pulled off true at least a little bit. This was that sort of piano. Painted light green, (or was it some other light color?), as well. Why, that's enough to make a piano sag, isn't it? Would YOU keep way up to snuff if somebody painted you light green? 

Wire does stretch. Joints sort of creep and sometimes outright fail. If you want to see a piano warp, tune a spinet with all four feet on the ground, and then put three of the feet on caster cups, and leave the fourth (left front will do) hanging in midair. Test the octaves across the break .... <grin> been there, done that, only in reverse. 

Susan
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