Comic relief

[PIANOTECHNICIAN at aol.com]

Here's a funny story to take all our minds off the serious business of life  
for a few moments. I got a call from a new customer a few months ago who said  
that she just picked up a baby grand at a tag sale, and that the piano needed 
 tuning (you all know the ending of this story - ha ha ha! ). So I told her I 
 would check out the piano in my spare time, which I did. Firstly, it had no  
name on it, even on the plate! The lid hinges were shot, and the piano needed 
 refinishing. The sound board had such a wide, long crack that the  living 
room carpet was clearly visible through the crack from many  different angles. 
Most of the tuning pins were loose and rusty. The dampers  were all old and 
squished and failed to dampen anything.  Most of the  hammers were so out of 
alignment that they were binding on each other,  so about 40 of the notes didn't 
work. The lyre was not attached - for  some reason it was in the other room!  
Instead of telling the woman the  truth - -that the piano needs only 2 things 
-- a gallon of gasoline and a  cigarette lighter, I told her that the condition 
was poor and that she should  dispose of it. She asked me if I could just 
make it "just good enough for  her children to take piano lessons on." Lord, why 
me?
 
Jesse Gitnik
Flushing, NY 
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