Oh I hate it when they beat me to the punch! However, I have come up with the following, sure-fire marketing plan. Coming soon! Offering a $10/10 page "How to make it big in the Lucrative Piano business!" info. package on e-bay. This will not be just be personal anecdotes of "How-I-became-a-big-tuna-in-the-local-piano-pond-by-being-a-bottom-feeder!", or tear-outs from the Sears tool catalogue. This fantastic info. pack is packed with information that make you sure you are fantastically well informed. No one will be able to tell you anything you do not already know. It will include actual original drawings on otto-cad showing reasonable facsimiles of thousands of jigs and gadgets that real piano technicians have spent countless hours perfecting so they could use it at least once in their life-times. For a small additional fee, this same jigs can be provided to you, made from durable injection-molded plastic, which you can place on your shop shelf. They come pre-coated with a fine layer of dust to make them almost indistinguishable from the real thing, giving you and your shop an instant air of expertise & authority. (You would do well to avoid contact with PTG members, as they may inquire what these things actually do, &/or ask you to demonstrate their use.) A pair of fine, chinese-manufactured, vise-grip knock-offs may be purchased for a nominal fee, so you can be ready to instantly run over and practice tuning on your neighbor's Steinway grand, should you actually want to do some physical work. Also included are painstakingly rendered drawings & detailed instructions showing how to make a rubber mute with an ordinary box-cutter from an old tire tread (or those hippie sandals made from same, that your spouse could never persuade you to dispose of). There is great professional gain to be had from the demonstration of such ingenuity and recycling methods, particularly in up-scale urban neighborhoods, if one uses recycled Mercedes or Jaguar tires. Please be sure to inform your customers of these innovative methods & tools. An additional $25 will get you the deluxe piano tuna kit which will require no work or training what-so-ever. This kit must be mailed, since it includes what appears to be an ordinary extension cord with the female end cut off. It comes "new", in a sealed box, with precise instructions on how to attach this device to the plate and strings, enabling the piano owner to self-tune his/her own piano. The self-replicating kit option gives the buyer/tuna the opportunity to make these self-tuning kits available to the general public, with a small royalty being paid to the Ottomatic PianaTuna Co., veryLTD. Plans showing how the individual customer can build a piano tilter, remove the case parts & action, lay the upright piano on its back, & plug it in to be used as an indoor barbeque, are also a nifty feature of this package. Large soundboard cracks can be taped on the back to prevent grease drippage, & in a cold environment, can make an effective soundboard repair. This value-added feature can enhance the perceived value of the product for increased margins & sales. One note of caution with this deluxe package: DO NOT PLUG THIS UNIT IN WHILE IN THE CUSTOMER'S HOME! Make sure you are well away, cash or check in hand, before the customer attempts the first self-tuning. If smoke appears in your rear-view mirror, make sure your first stop is at the customers bank. (Please see my other auctions for fantastic deals on an ingenious way to add outlets to your home without the need for an electrician. Merely strip the ends of the two short wires of what appears to be the female end of an extention cord, stick them in an existing outlet, & voi la! -- instant outlet!!) For a limited time this incredible information package comes with a bonus page of the home phone #'s of all CAUT members which the buyerwannabetuna can call collect for endless hours of free advice. BID NOW!! ONLY ONE OF THESE WILL BE AVAILABLE today! Happy bidding!! Otto ----- Original Message ----- From: "Donald McKechnie" <dmckech@ithaca.edu> To: <caut@ptg.org> Sent: Monday, December 16, 2002 8:59 AM Subject: ebay > List, > > Who knew, now the secrets to a successful career in piano technology can > be found on ebay. Happy bidding! > > http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=930464889 > > Don McKechnie > Ithaca College > > _______________________________________________ > caut list info: https://www.moypiano.com/resources/#archives
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