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<DIV>I got this from our son, an English teacher. Enjoy. </DIV>
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<DIV><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">The European Comm=
ission
has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official langu=
age
of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.=
As
part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in =
plan
that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will rep=
lace
the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. =
The
hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion,=
and
keyboards <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:State
w:st="on">kan</st1:State></st1:place> have one less letter.<BR><BR>There=
will
be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" =
will
be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In t=
he
3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling <st1:place
w:st="on"><st1:State w:st="on">kan</st1:State></st1:place> be expekted=
to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments w=
ill
enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent t=
o
akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" i=
n
the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer, people wi=
l be
reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During=
ze
fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and aft=
er
ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trub=
l or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a=
united urop vil finali kum tru.<BR><BR>Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be=
speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.<BR>If zis mad you smil, p=
leas
pas on to oza pepl</SPAN></DIV></FONT></BLOCKQUOTE></DIV>
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