<html> <body> Wm - Ach, ja!  I ze dzat u haff bin tekking lessins frum das Gropinator, und vil zoon be muvink nach Kah-li-for-ni-yah... HG "The Boobus Americanus is a bird that knows no closed season."  Henry Louis Mencken At 02:11 PM 10/7/2005, you wrote: <blockquote type=cite class=cite cite="">I got this from our son, an English teacher. Enjoy. <dl> <dd>The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. <dd>There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. <dd>Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. <dd>If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl </dl>  Return-Path: <erikblees@yahoo.com> Received: from  rly-yc04.mail.aol.com (rly-yc04.mail.aol.com [172.18.205.147]) <x-tab>        </x-tab>by air-yc04.mail.aol.com (v107.13) with ESMTP id MAILINYC43-1d34346c66d8b; <x-tab>        </x-tab>Fri, 07 Oct 2005 15:03:34 -0400 Received: from  web32212.mail.mud.yahoo.com (web32212.mail.mud.yahoo.com <x-tab>        </x-tab> [68.142.207.143]) by rly-yc04.mail.aol.com (v107.13) with ESMTP id <x-tab>        </x-tab> MAILRELAYINYC47-1d34346c66d8b; Fri, 07 Oct 2005 15:03:09 -0400 Received: (qmail 46568 invoked by uid 60001); 7 Oct 2005 19:03:09 -0000 DomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; q=dns; c=nofws;s=s1024; d=yahoo.com; <x-tab>        </x-tab> h=Message-ID:Received:Date:From:Subject:To:MIME-Version:Content-Type:Content-Transfer-Encoding; <x-tab>        </x-tab> b=pzTtoad8XUoQYVujQeuqAnWPuD5ds6mRNkz694TRak6jfUA8tYZcHF2XojL11GrAgJ+t2fQhy7wNJFu4aqtMQfzN3HW/IHuVKCfExjMrm/TSlHTiyeGILP2DL8NuKd8DsIHFzRo28qSwRYzzGL6NBIdgvJSejD9gmXv/EgbqjG4= <x-tab>        </x-tab>; Message-ID: <20051007190309.46566.qmail@web32212.mail.mud.yahoo.com> Received: from [66.177.160.156] by web32212.mail.mud.yahoo.com via HTTP; <x-tab>        </x-tab>Fri, 07 Oct 2005 12:03:09 PDT Date: Fri, 7 Oct 2005 12:03:09 -0700 (PDT) From: Erik Blees <erikblees@yahoo.com> Subject: you'll both like this To: dad <wimblees@aol.com> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="0-416142994-1128711789=:46085" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-AOL-IP: 68.142.207.143 X-Mailer: Unknown (No Version) The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, p! ublik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl Yahoo! for Good <a href="http://store.yahoo.com/redcross-donate3/">Click here to donate</a> to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort. _______________________________________________ caut list info: <a href="https://www.moypiano.com/resources/#archives" eudora="autourl"> https://www.moypiano.com/resources/#archives</a></blockquote></body> </html>