The Proud, the Few........ (dateline 4/1/95) NH Chapter President Jim Herrick took time following the March meeting to go on record concerning the N.H. Chapter's new entrance exam. "We've had growing misgivings about the current national entrance exam. Some of us feel that Dr. Sanderson has used his fiendish tune-box to put control of induction of new members into the hands of a small elite, high-tech priesthood. Those of us who see the standardized exam as yet another rathole through which degeneracy can seep into the state feel honor-bound to uphold N.H.'s proud heritage of "Live Free or Shoot'. Heck, we don't mean any harm. We just happen to know what's best for us up here, and the Chapter's much happier with an exam which lets in more people like us". As for the tuning section, that infernal tune-box is thrown out, and the three examiners are replaced by our own dear Miss Margaret Rectitude Rumphardt, whose attitude about tuning reflects the rest of her spartan life, "No tuning is better than a bad one." Jim elaborates, "All of us at one time or another have had to pass muster with Miss Rumphardt (who was 81 years old last August). She feels the same way we do about the State's flaming epidemic of Creeping Moral Deficiency Syndrome. Now that she's retired from teaching and moved into the nursing home, she's got a little spare time for "good works". Her hearing is as sharp now as it was ten years ago." The bench test will have some suprises, but two of them Jim doesn't mind telling about now. "In fact," he says, "you can take as long as you want to practice up for them." The Chapter's 5' Wurlitzer grand test piano will need a splice down on note #1. (If you haven't had the chance to flunk this one yet, the core diameter is #24, this distance between the wrap and the aggraphe is 3/8", and the tuning pin is a 1/2" from the half-round V-bar.) Also a must is the Dammp-Chasser installation is a square grand . Only two requirements: the unit must be suspended from the soundboard, and it can't get in the way of pulling out the action. The written test didn't need much changing, except for a new essay question. A sample topic might be "Discuss why crime and divorce rates are higher in areas with a higher percentage of tuners using the electronic tune-boxes". Jim says, "We've freed things up a bit by not requiring people to cite statistical sources." How smooth is the transition likely to be, from the Federal to the new Sovereign Exam? Jim says, "The Chapter's solid on this: we've got eveyone grandfathered in as RTTs (Real Tuner-Technicians.) Anyone coming in (transfer or new) who doesn't make the grade gets to be a RT (Regular Tuner) and they don't get any of our doughnuts at the meetings. No matter what the NERVP says, we're going ahead with this. And we've got the International Brotherhood of Dumpsters behind us. But just in case, we're telling everybody to stock up on canned goods and ammo."
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