Writing Guide (somewhat long)

[Ed Guerra]

mira batoAt 05:56 PM 12/15/97 -0600, you wrote:
>Dear list,
>
>Since there seems to be quite an interest in the proper use of the English
>language among a few members of the list, I am submitting the following
>material as a guide for the rest of us. I hope you all enjoy it in the
>spirit in which it is presented.
>
>Fifty Rules for Writing Good
>
> 1. Each pronoun should agree with their antecedent.
> 2. Between you and I, case is important.
> 3. A writer must be sure to avoid using sexist pronouns in his writing.
> 4. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
> 5. Don't be a person whom people realize confuses who and whom.
> 6. Never use no double negatives.
> 7. Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.  That is something up
>with which your readers will not put.
> 8. When writing, participles must not be dangled.
> 9. Be careful to never, under any circumstances, split infinitives.
>10. Hopefully, you won't float your adverbs.
>11. A writer must not shift your point of view.
>12. Lay down and die before using a transitive verb without an object.
>13. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
>14. The passive voice should be avoided.
>15. About sentence fragments.
>16. Don't verb nouns.
>17. In letters themes reports and ad copy use commas to separate items in a
>series.
>18. Don't use commas, that aren't necessary.
>19. "Don't overuse 'quotation marks.' "
>20. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (if the truth be told)
>superfluous.
>21. Contractions won't, don't, and can't help your writing voice.
>22. Don't write run-on sentences they are hard to read.
>23. Don't forget to use end punctuation
>24. Its important to use apostrophe's in the right places.
>25. Don't abbrev.
>26. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!
>27. Resist Unnecessary Capitalization.
>28. Avoid mispellings.
>29. Check to see if you any words out.
>30. One-word sentences? Never.
>31. Avoid annoying, affected, and awkward alliteration, always.
>32. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
>33. The bottom line is to bag trendy locutions that sound flaky.
>34. By observing the distinctions between adjectives and adverbs, you will
>treat your readers read good.
>35. Parallel structure will help you in writing more effective sentences
>and to express yourself more gracefully.
>36. In my own personal opinion at this point of time, I think that authors,
>when they are writing, should not get into the habit of making use of too
>many unnecessary words that they don't really need.
>37. Foreign words and phrases are the reader's bête noire and are not
apropos.
>38. Who needs rhetorical questions?
>39. Always go in search for the correct idiom.
>40. Do not cast statements in the negative form.
>41. And don't start sentences with conjunctions.
>42. Avoid mixed metaphors.  They will kindle a flood of confusion in your
>readers.
>43. Eliminate quotations.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations.
>Tell me what you know."
>44. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
>45. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
>46. Be more or less specific.
>47. If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, exaggeration is
>a billion times worse than understatement, which is always best.
>48. Never use a big word when you can utilize a diminutive word.
>49. Profanity sucks.
>50. Last but not least, even if you have to bend over backwards, avoid
>clichés like the plague.
>
>Lederer, Richard. (1994) Adventures of a verbivore. Pocket Books: New York.
>
>Kindest regards,
>
>Tom
>
>Tom Seay
>The University of Texas at Austin
>t.seay@mail.utexas.edu
>
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