Have a wonderful day too!

Lance Lafargue lafargue@iAmerica.net
Mon, 24 Nov 1997 20:59:52 -0600


Andre,
Here, my friend we disagree and I hope you hear me out and consider my
point.  I, like most others on this list hated to see you get chased off
about the hammer felt fiasco.  I defended you and really regretted what
happened.  BUT... This is where I think we disagree and where many folks
just don't stop to think...  

Many, many years ago (an old book or movie will remind us of this) people
for the most part (in your country and mine) knew what hospitality and
politeness and consideration were.  This was when men stood to offer a lady
his seat and where everyone (those that were respected) thought of others
before they spoke.  When a man's word was his honor.  As our societies have
evolved I'm afraid we have become more and more callused to other people's
feelings, to what is acceptable, to what is allowed, to what is considered
"too far".  We have become a world that craves blood, gossip, the bizarre,
etc. (just look at the death of Diana, tabloids, many of the new music
groups, what people are attracted to on television, etc., etc.) It is only
natural for us....We naturally WANT these things.  It is only with self
control, honor, and discipline that we resist.  I may want to make foul
bodily noises in a restaurant, but I don't.  Where do we stop and control
ourselves??  When is too much, too much?  To slip and apologize is OK.  To
know it would offend, do it anyway, then defend it as some study of
language is absurd and a weak defense.  I may love fouls smells, but I
would not inflict mine on others.  Should I expect others to be "tolerant"
as you say.  Why should I inflict myself on others.  

I was not Terribly offended by the word and almost responded to it myself
(because I am FRENCH)  Like you, I knew others would be offended and I knew
it was small and not necessary - why do it? Too high a price for a silly
laugh.  The ONLY reason I write you is that you said that you thought
others would be offended, but you went on anyway.  If we rationalize this
behavior now, what will we be defending years from now?  This world is
sliding enough without us helping it.  We used to have more respect and
consideration for others. And for ourselves.

In our country we debate this all the time: People want tolerance from
others for the things that they want to "do".  What about tolerance for
those that find it offensive??  Someone may want me to be tolerant of their
profanity in a public place, but they have no consideration for my
feelings, or those of my small children in their presence.  I cannot delete
the word before it reaches my ears/eyes or my young children's ears/eyes.  

 Lets talk about pianos.  Maybe that is one of the few things we have in
common. This list and the world needs tolerance, tempered with
consideration, decency,  and patience for others. When in doubt, don't say
it.....I'm done. 
 
Lance Lafargue, RPT
New Orleans Chapter
Covington, LA.
lafargue@iamerica.net

----------
> From: Antares <antares@EURONET.NL>
> To: pianotech@ptg.org
> Subject: Have a wonderful day too!
> Date: Sunday, November 23, 1997 3:49 PM
> 
> >Subject:     Re: pos versus piece of merde..Lord have mercy
> >Sent:        11/23/97 21:22
> >To:          CheetoLD@aol.com
> >
> >>I know exactly what I said...it's called irony...and if I did offend
someone,
> >>sorry! :-)
> 
> Antares answers:
> 
> Well well...
> Dear Colleagues,
> 
> Last night I noticed that another conflict started because of the use of
"profanity and vulgar language".
> 
> As I am involved, I will certainly come forward and show my colors.
> 
> I <<<< reacted to Calebs post because I am  :
> a. always interested in language questions (that's why I wrote "Ah...I
like that!)
> and 
> b.because I immediately thought of the fairly new Parisian subscriber to
the List.
> 
> So..I was really wondering if the French word "Merde" means the same as
"shit" in English.
> That's why I suggested that we could ask our French colleague, because
*he* is French.... and *I* am not.
> As a matter of fact, I intuitively felt that the words "Merde" and "shit"
could cause an uproar among *certain* subscribers on this list , so, for
that reason I decided to use "Lord have mercy" as a header for my post,
and/but..also, meant as a jolly way of saying that these are "bad"
words.....so, "Please...Lord, forgive me"! 
> 
> Now...
> of course....... everything went wrong.
> And, that is how conflicts and wars start.
> 
> To avoid these kind of conflicts, I should not have reacted the way I
did.
> 
> As I gave an explaination for the way I meant what I said (last night), I
wish for those who feel insulted by my post that they will now have at
least a better understanding how words can be "mistaken".
> 
> But...I have something else to say as well:
> 
> If we start a conflict because of a few words, then I am beginning to
wonder about just one word:
> What comes to my mind now, is the word "tolerance".......
> If we would have the capacity for only a very tiny bit of tolerance, it
is then not *immediately* necessary to jump up and crucify a "supposed
offender and >insulting< person".
> As I explained before in this here letter to those who feel insulted and
hurt , I was actually really *only* interested in the language issue.
> 
> Ah! but! Hey!.....As the Pianotech list was, and is, meant for pianotech
issues only, I was most wrong to react to Calebs >(final)<  line about "pos
versus piece of merde".
> On the other hand, I take the liberty (although I sense that I should
have been tortured, burned, and buried by now already) to imagine that I am
allowed to say that my posts to the List usually  refer to the Piano
business only.
> 
> More over, during this past year, I have become more and more guarded
about my participation on this "list". (Some subscribers even suggested I
should take part on the list a little more frequently)
> This has to do with the fact that not so long ago (in my sensitive
memory) I was flamed by a considerable number of subscribers for venturing
> my < ideas about the difference in treating hammerfelt in the USA and in
Europe.
> 
> The fact that  I seem to be in the doghouse once again makes me feel
weary.
> I sttill am a subscriber to "the List" and I still like to imagine myself
being a *foreign* and distant member of the pianotech "family".
> 
> That's why I think I can say yet one more thing:
> When robots are programmed very well, like smooth running computers, they
will behave in a most perfect way, like real "Science Fiction robots"
should.
> I, on the other hand, I am a human being and *not* a robot.
> Just like my antique computer (built by humans) , I have some flaws and
sometimes my (human) behaviour becomes erratic.
> When I'm being confronted with an error in my computer I sometimes have
to crash or just shut it down, and start it all over again, hoping it will
perform better the next time.
> The same thing happens to me sometimes, I am a lesser example of
Humankind, I make mistakes, I crash, but..... I start all over again.
> 
> Just let me remind you, offended colleagues, I am not the only human
being on this world!
> So....hey! have some mercy......(some of you should know all about that.)
> 
> PS.
> I dared to come out and offer to you my version of this "POS" story.
> If there is anybody who wishes that I should end my participation to "the
List", let him or her *openly* announce this. If the number of objectors
becomes sifnificant, I will  > definitely < take the consequenses.
> But I'll count to ten first
> 
> Have a wonderful day too...... 
> 
> 
> Friendly greetings from :
>           
> CONCERT PIANO SERVICE
> André Oorebeek
> Amsterdam, the Netherlands
>        
> ‰  where MUSIC is no harm can be  ‰
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 


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