Busy day humor

[Larry Fisher]

The pressures of the season sometimes goes beyond agony and frustration.  I
was pretty punchy by the time this call came about and so I'd thought I'd
share with y'all the lighter side of a very "out of skew" day.

It's Dec. 23, and it's the last scheduled day in my appointment book until
Jan 4th.  It would mark the end of a three week run of doing 4 to 6 calls a
day with no shop time to provide any rest from the ever increasing traffic
and holiday frenzies that go with this time of year.  To top that off,  I
had been driving in rain for the majority of that time, and then it snowed
on the 21st.  We don't get snow very often, and it usually melts by noon.
This stuff stuck hard, to the ground, the streets, the windshield, and along
with all that is the over abundance of inexperienced drivers on this stuff.
So by the 23rd I had dusted off the 4X4 and was doing calls for the last few
days in a relatively huge full sized pickup that I'm in the habit of driving
like a little sports car.  It tends to clear the road for me.

I proceeded to my 1:00 at the address that was so nicely printed by my
obedient and faithful computer setup earlier that day, and as I approached
this same address that I went to the year previous, it dawned on me.  She
said something over the phone at the time of making the appointment, ......
"I've moved again....".  This phrase rang through my head quite prominently
as I drove my truck in 4 wheel drive through her apartment complex's icy
parking area.  I bounced up the stairs to her door and rang the bell.
Usually I can tell there's someone in a place by the ultra low frequency
thumping a body makes as they come across the floor to answer the door.
This place was really dead still.  I tried to locate the manager to see if
my call had left a forwarding address.  No one around.  I then drove to a
pay phone .....  in traffic ....  about a mile away.  Old phone no good,
directory assistance number no good, ...... I then drove back to the old
address and tried to locate the manager again.  We talked, no new adr, no
new phone number, and, ''By the way, how much do you charge for a tuning
anyway??".  It's now 1:45, I've accessed my answering machine and tried all
the angles I can think of and I've got to go to my next call.  

About 3:45 I accessed my aswering machine again and my 1:00 had called
leaving her phone number.  I called her immediately.

me:  "Hi Jane, this is Larry the piano man.  I was thinking about you and
just thought I'd give you a call.  How've ya been lately anyway??"  I was
trying to avoid the obvious with hopes of providing an entertaining diversion.

Jane: snickering "OH pretty good. How 'bout yourself?"

me: "Oh you know, the usual, I'm full of it, nothin's changed.  Are ya still
in the same place you were last time we talked??"

Jane: giggling "No, I moved again"

me: "Mans, you're a hard girl to keep up with"

Jane: still giggliing "I know.  I like it that way"

me: "Well, ma'am, since I'm in the area, kinda, I'd like to tune your piano,
....... if you still have one ..... and if you'd like me to."

Jane: smiling big time "I would dearly love to have you come and tune my piano."

By now,  I've managed to break down all her barriers and her native Oklahoma
drawl is starting to fester and get gooey.

me: "I'd really like to do that after this next call I've got to do so it'll
be a few hours yet.  Your old phone number doesn't produce any useful
information, directory assistance gave me your number from 5 years ago, and
your previous landlady didn't know much either so I'll need your new address
to be able to find your house.  Or if you don't care to divulge that
information I could just drive around asking people that I see around the
area and see if they'd know where you live ......  it's not that big a town
(we're talking major metro suburb here)  I'm just sure I'd find you
eventually.".  She's giggling pretty good by now.  I paused a bit and before
she could say anything I said, "Now if you're concerned about giving your
new address out to just anybody that happens along, you know, I could drive
home and get your address off my appointment book laying on top of my desk.
(She and I both knew that would take an additional 2 hours)"  By now she's
laughing pretty good and can hardly speak.

Jane: "No, no that won't be neccessary, but .....  (long pause) I'm sorry
but I forgot what it is.  (we're both laughing pretty good by now)  I'll
have to go look it up!!"

Now before she had the chance to gain her equilibrium enough to put the
phone down, I said, "It's them cute little numbers on the front of your
house there Jane.  That's why they're there, so that I can find your place
and irritate you some more with stupid humor eh??"

Jane: "OH SHUTUP!!" she barely said because she was just about peeing in her
pants from laughing so hard.

After a very long pause, she returns to the phone, and with a warm cozy
sounding Oklahoma drawl she very calmly says, "Well Larry, Ah had to dew
what you said.  Ah went out and looked at them cute little numbers on the
front of mah house because Ah couldn't find where Ah wrote it all down."
And then breaking into a laugh she continued with, "Ah'm really sorry for
the long wait".

We're getting a pretty good abdominal work out from all this, and I said,
"Aren't you the psychiatrist or some such kinda thang with mental malfunction??"

"Yes Ah am" she snickered.

"Do you think there's any hope for either of us?"  I asked.

Bursting into tears she responded, "Ah charge for that kind of information".

I got to her place about 7:00 PM, my place about 9:00 PM, I fed the dog 5
hours late, went to bed and slept for as long as I dang well pleased.

Merry Christmas to y'all and have a fahn dayee.

Lar





                                    Larry Fisher RPT
   specialist in players, retrofits, and other complicated stuff
      phone 360-256-2999 or email larryf@pacifier.com
         http://www.pacifier.com/~larryf/ (revised 10/96)
           Beau Dahnker pianos work best under water