STEINWAY Upright Value

[Les Smith]

On Tue, 16 Jun 1998, Jim Kinnear wrote:
 
> I need your help. 
> I have a customer with an upright Steinway # 132889, c 1908  with matching
> bench.
> She is convinced that it is worth at least $5,000 CAN, and who knows, she
> may be right! The piano is in immaculate shape, all original, great tone and
> action, and tight pinblock.
> 
> Any ideas will be welcome

Hi, Jim:

Relax. This is an easy one. Your client's old Steinway upright is,
indeed, worth all of $5,000, Canadian. Shuold she ask, what follows is
explaination of how that figure is calculated. The basic formula has many
applications. Here goes.

One of the late John Candy's lesser-known movies is a farce called
"Canadian Bacon". In it, we, the US, invent a pretext for going to war
with Canada as we try to bolster a sluggish, none-war-time, US
economy. The ploy works. At least for a while.

At one point, John and a friend are speeding to Toronto, driving a
garbage truck covered with anti-Canadian  slogans-- "Down with Canucks",
"Canada Sucks", and "All the way, USA". Stuff like that. Eventually the
truck is stopped by an Ontario policeman--played by Dan Akroyd--who
orders Candy out of the truck, points out the anti-Canadian slogans
and asks him to explain them. As Candy stammers out a lame
excuse, Akroyd cuts him off and points out that they are a clear
violation of Canadian law, which demands that all such sayings be writ-
ten in BOTH English AND French! Dan then watches as John spray-paints
all the offensive slogans on the garbage truck in French, too.

When John is finished and getting ready to leave, Akroyd informs him
that there will also be a fine. "A fine", Candy asks? "How much?" "That'll
be one thousand Canadian dollars, or ten bucks, US", Akroyd replies. John
hands him ten dollars and goes on his way.   

Well, Jim. I guess you can see where all this is leading. Citing Akroyd's
explaination of the Canadian-US monetary exchange rate, you can confident-
ly tell you client that--just as she suspected-- her old Steinway upright
IS WORTH about $5,000, Canadian. Or, in other words, about fifty bucks,
US. :)

Les Smith