You've got questions? (was Piano Designers...)

Michael Jorgensen Michael.Jorgensen@cmich.edu
Mon, 22 Jun 1998 09:05:52 +0000


Thanks Jim,
   You answered all my questions! They all point to what Willem said as
the cause which is that Piano designers are not piano tuners.  (I bet
they're not even musicians).  Perhaps your most shocking answer was that
there are actually twenty-seven works requiring a sonsenuto! 
-Mike 


Jim harvey wrote:
> 
> Michael, now that I've answered all your questions, are bonus points, a
> cookie,
> or other perks applicable? You've obviously given a lot of thought to the
> questions. No offense, but you must not have given as much thought to the
> answers. They're so easy, I felt like I was cheating while responding. Even
> with no cookie, this was much more fun than 200 people guessing what one
> person
> did to find or correct a problem. In spite of bandwith that will swamp servers
> for months, thanks for thinking up all this neat stuff! Next round, maybe one
> or two questions at a time...? Here are my thoughts:
> 
> Q: Why do they design pianos which are hard to figure out how to get
> open, humiliating even the most experienced techs?
> A: Haven't thought of Alton Suggs in years. Factory workers (particularly
> finish repair) also complained about this, and Alton wasn't with Kranich &
> Bach
> too long afterwards. He also installed pinblocks for Chickering for a while,
> and later worked at Gulbransen and Winter. By then, his reputation had spread,
> and no one in the piano industry would hire him. The last I heard, Mr. Suggs
> had passed away, but his grandson was working for Ford, installing transverse
> mounted engines in such a manner that it was necessary to remove the engine to
> install a spark plug on the firewall side.
> 
> Q: What's the real reason they invented the sostinuto?
> A: If the sostinuto is in the same family as the sostenuto, the reason for
> development was to provide the ability to play the twenty-seven pieces of
> music
> that were written and notated specifically for the device.
> 
> Q: Why are lid props placed so you can't put even the shortest tuning
> lever on the top pins parallel to the string?
> A1: On toy pianos, when the rim starts to curve immediately at the capo
> bar, it
> becomes a logistics nightmare to find a place to install the prop stick.
> Considering the size and weight of the little topboards, sometimes its faster
> to remove both the lid and the lid prop.
> A2: In earlier times, left-handed tuners were far more common than today.
> 
> Q: Why are console lids designed to go "Bang" when you close them so
> the customer thinks you hit their piano with a sledge?
> A: This wasn't an intentional design characteristic, rather a by-product of
> installing a 100 pound topboard on a 300 pound piano. That's the nature of
> beaverboard, and that's the way Kimball decided to do it. The special Harley
> Davidson tool mentioned is also useful for correcting lost motion on that same
> model, after the action is removed for work that had nothing to do with lost
> motion.
> 
> Q: Why do they always play around with the specs on action replacement
> parts just enough to fool the tech into still using them, yet just
> enough to cause all kinds of problems? (that must have taken some
> careful study!)
> A: Excellent question, but more appropriate for Economics 101. Say that
> original parts work flawlessly for 20 years or more. This does not provide
> sufficient incentive or cash flow to keep designers, draftsmen, labor, and
> other support operations busy. Instead of cutbacks and layoffs, another viable
> option is to simply make parts with problems already built-in, sell those,
> then
> sell improved versions with the inherent problems retro-designed. This
> phenomenon is not exclusive to the piano industry, therefore our little corner
> can only accept minor responsibility.
> 
> Q: Why do they design fall boards to catch pencils and shoot them
> right into the capstans where they can do the most harm?
> A: Without this important safety net, there are no other conditions that
> qualify as an emergency condition on a piano. The possible exception to this
> would be captive cat removal, but even this permits a casual hamburger and
> shake on the way to the call. Otherwise, we would have to create other reasons
> to charge for basic service calls.
> 
> Q: Why do they have sixteen screws to remove an action with the two
> fall board ones too close to the the case with end blocks carefully
> designed to bounce these microscopic screws on the floor to hide in the
> shag rug or down the crack along the key?
> A: I may have misunderstood this question. Fallboard screws, once found (see
> thread on brass magnet), can be tossed. They are a shipping expedient, after
> which (a) their service is no longer required (b) with or without, no piano
> mover trusts the screws. (See 'Extra stuff during removal')
> 
> Q: Why do replacement hammer shanks have extra long drop screws to hit
> the pinblock and give you three choices--cut em off, plane down the
> pinblock or lower the drop one inch?
> A1: These post-production assemblies are provided with many more options than
> the originals. They fit nicely in glue sandwiches; i.e., pinplank stock
> that is
> =thinner= than the original block, and with a little luck, the screws do very
> little damage to the stretcher.
> A2: The additional one inch of drop provides an additional element of control
> in the field, especially on pianos with severe gospel damage. The drop being
> lower permits an even lower let-off.
> A3: I prefer too long to too short -- I submit that silver-soldering tiny
> extensions on 88 little screws would be far too labor intensive.
> 
> Q: Why do they put any locks on pianos?
> A: This feature was implemented due to the lobbying efforts of finish repair
> professionals. By installing a lock that is just slightly harder to defeat
> than
> no lock at all, the resulting damage to the lock assembly, the hinges, the
> stretcher, and sometimes the lock bar provide additional income opportunities
> for those who have contracts with junior high schools.
> 
> Q: Why do console/studio fallboards have to make it impossible to
> regulate capstans without removal and then be a mental test on how to
> put them back? (afew you can tip up, but watch out they're designed to
> fall and kill your wrists)
> A: I agree that all verticals should have a service door. Meanwhile, it's
> easier to remove the fallboard. I'm still waiting for a gas-filled, slow
> release shock absorber on console fallboards. I guess no hatch-back car maker
> has needed one quite this short.
> 
> Q: Why do they design lids and capo bars to force us to use longer
> tuning hammer tips and get poorer results?
> A: One thing led to another in initial design; the opposite condition of
> cutting the same board too short two times in succession; some of these pianos
> are actually improved when tuned with a modified floor shift from a Kenworth.
> (If answer wrong for question, see next)
> 
> Q: Why don't they use the right amount of counterbearing so the piano
> can be easily tuned and stable?
> A: 18~22 degrees; pick one or invent another; diminishing returns on either
> side of this window. Other than that, Mason & Hamlin, Knabe and certain others
> require alternate methods to assure stability. (Also see Harley tool above)
> 
> Q: Why design an action so you can't get a wippen out without removing
> all kinds of stuff?
> A1: For verticals, there was at least one piano that the front rolled away
> from
> the back on built-in steel ramps, but they're not that common in many areas.
> Careful with that 'other' stuff. I discovered that some of it may be useful
> later on. The rest can be cleverly hidden in nooks and crannies of your
> service
> vehicle.
> A2: For grands, the entire process goes much faster when movers use the right
> screws in the lyre, or when a previous technician resists using plate lags
> through the lyre into the keyframe. An air impact driver is yet another
> expedient, but not everyone has space to carry the compressor.
> 
> Q: Why do they design music racks held together with microscopic screws
> which can't carry any load and cannot be "redesigned"?
> A: More is better; it's hard to install #10 or #12 screws into the edge of a
> board that's only 1/4" thick without creating additional damage. Two 2x12's
> edge-joined/doweled work pretty good for large format orchestra scores, but
> some folks can still find heavier music and defeat the best of designs.
> 
> Q: Why do they design the tenor strings to have such low tension they
> go wild one month into a weather change? (Who cares about an even tenor
> break if the thing is going to have bar room octaves that fast!)
> A1: Those offerings were not intended for bar rooms, or pianists. They were
> originally meant to hold freshwater aquariums closer to eye level, and
> never be
> opened. The recent thread on having a 'flag' on the becket is further
> testimonial that these pianos were just to fill empty spaces in rooms. An
> additional clue were tuning pins that were too close to each other or to a
> plate strut to accommodate a tuning lever. The pricing structure no doubt
> caused their overwhelming popularity in many homes... and nightclubs.
> A2: In at least a few instances, rescaling was done on extant backs to
> minimize
> the effects of the crossover area. Cost to change was a matter of substituting
> a few strings, and possibly the hammer strike point in the affected area.
> Upper
> management denied permission. (See -anything- authored by Del Fandrich,
> [although he's not my reference on this]).
> 
> Q: Why use those buzzy continuous hinges anywhere on a piano?
> A: Cosmetics - the Stanley garage door hinges didn't look as good, required
> too
> much space, and rattled worse. (Note: there are three fixes for this, none of
> them involve the use of  felt).
> 
> Q: Why don't they support a grand music desk somewhere along its
> length instead of just the two ends using only a quarter inch of wood?
> A1: This has been tried, most recently in one Baldwin model, by screwing the
> desk into a plate strut. Early evidence indicates that ambitious seventh
> graders can defeat (destroy) this as easily as a lock assembly.
> A2: Bonus answer. I originally read the question as music -rack- support. The
> center-mount, quadruple fold, easily bent, single-position and incorrectly
> angled style requires post-graduate work to learn how to install. The
> multi-adjustable, easily broken end mount demands no extra training.
> 
> Q: Why would anyone design a lid so to be opened the piano has to come
> away from the wall?
> A1: Obviously a trick question -- vertical pianos are not supposed to be flush
> to the wall.
> A2: This design serves as a gentle reminder. We're supposed to periodically
> check the back of the piano, especially the lower liner area, for plaster
> coated nails, marbles, rubber balls (minus the paddle they became detached
> from), costume jewelry, or exactly two pennies. For other discoveries, latex
> gloves are highly recommended.
> 
> Q: All pianos should have toe blocks!
> A: We're no longer in a war-time environment. Alternative methods have to be
> created to control male population levels. It is unfortunate that curious
> six-year old males were selected as token offerings, but that becomes a
> parental control problem, and need not be addressed by the manufacturer.
> Therefore, sales of Euro-styled pianos continues to grow.
> 
> Q: Why can't the Japanesse and Americans all use the same wire size
> number for the same size string?
> A: Another trick question. Many Americans are still waiting for the signal to
> convert to metric. Still others saw the value and didn't wait to pass 'go'.
> When this happens, the wire will have corresponding number to gauge
> references.
> What -did- ever happen to that initiative?
> 
> Q: Why do the Russians reverse the order of the tuning pins in the
> bass so the tuner gets confused about which pin to be on and breaks a
> string?
> A: Sigh. Refer to previous answers; i.e., if they put the tuning pins beneath
> the bridge and installed remote-control power steering to turn them -- it
> wouldn't make the resulting product any better.
> 
> Q: Why do they design trapwork to rub on each other?
> A: So Susan Kline has something to write about.
> 
> Q: Why do they design it so the pedal rods have to fall out of place
> when the action is removed?
> A1: So Susan Graham had something to write about.
> A2: If anyone has failed to experience any pedal rods that =don't= fall out of
> place -- things get real busy, real fast, and the situation has the potential
> to turn ugly.
> 
> Q: Why do they design pedal lyres to come apart?
> A: A coincidental side effect to efficient manufacturing. Analogy: it's
> okay to
> hollow out a tree to build a canoe, but it's just bad use of resources to use
> an entire tree to carve out one toothpick.
> 
> Q: Why do they design the braces to fall out?
> A: This feature encourages technicians to practice iso-kinetic exercises, use
> of certain Yoga positions, and assume all sorts of other healthful positions.
> It's also a good excuse for a quick nap while maintaining a work 'attitude'.
> The downside is that it also encourages many technicians to use vocabulary
> they
> haven't used since the Navy.
> 
> Q: Why did they ever have to invent the una-chorda pedal? can't
> pianists learn to play soft without it? doesn't it add an awful lot of
> cost with very little gain?
> A1: A three-parter? The unacorda helped restore 'piano' after 'forte' was
> introduced;
> A2: Many professionals either abstain during formative years, or, are
> currently
> trying to quit;
> A3: Not allowing for pedals, the unacorda costs far less than Orville's
> popcorn, which, if TV marketing were eliminated, could be sold for around ten
> dollars per silo. The action must be accessible for pencil removal, without
> additional need for plate, belly rail, soundboard, or keybed removal -- so why
> not make it 'fluid' at the same time.
> 
> Q: Then there's those fake pedals, connected to the same trap lever!
> A: Those pedal assemblies came already configured as a set of three from
> Ramsey
> & Co. Again, it's a matter of choices. (a) have one pedal flopping around, (b)
> adding one additional prop bolt and nut; (c) taking time to change excuses
> into
> into a 'sales feature'. Item B was was finally agreed upon, following a close
> contest with item C.
> 
> Q: Why do they design wood dowel letoff buttons coupled with extra
> long jack regulating screws?
> A1: Failure to compare sufficient samples to original drawings;
> A2: Some tools are too big to fit between dowels to reach jack screws --
> requires either Yamaha or Mehaffey drop regulator as work-around.
> A3: Care must be taken to assure that long screws are not jack stop rail
> adjustments.
> 
> Q: Boy am I glad it's Friday!
> A: Me too. You obviously had quite a busy week!
> 
> Jim Harvey, RPT
> harvey@greenwood.net


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