Heard any good jokes lately?

[Avery Todd]

Judy,

   Carl Fischer put this on the list about 1-1/2 yrs. ago and although it
isn't exactly a joke, sometime when you really need some filler, this
might be useful. Some of you "newbies" on the list might enjoy it, also.

Avery

>     I have recently become the newsletter editor for our chapter. I would
>like to spice it up alittle with some piano-tech jokes.If you have any good
>jokes, feel free to e-mail me privately or post for all to see. Please keep
>it clean. Thanks.
>               Judy Kazanjian
>               Reading-Lancaster Chapter

==========================================================================

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR PIANO OWNERS
By C.F. Thompson, From the "Piano Technician"

I.  Thou shalt not neglect thy piano for lo these many years and expect to
have it renewed for peanuts.

II.  Say not unto thy dealer, "My grandsire paid ten shekels for a piano
fourscore years ago and it is better now than a new one," lest he suffer a
stroke because of thy words and his blood be on thy head.

[another version of II]:

II.  I believe that II is stated incorrectly. When I heard it in the field,
it usually was stated thusly: "My grandsire paid ten shekels for a piano
fourscore years ago, NEVER HAD IT TUNED EVEN ONCE, and it sounds better
now than a new one! No kidding.

III.  Thou shalt not place thine instrument in a cold, damp room nor yet
against a steam radiator, for a piano is but wood and metal and doth
suffer grievously from such abuse.

IV.  Say not unto they dealer "The price is too great." Have not chariots
and sandals also become more costly than in days of yore?

V.  Lay not that smoldering butt upon the keyboard lest it cost thee many
simoleons for new keys and finish.

VI.  Thou shalt not look upon the service man as a worm, nor yet exalt
him, but always remember that despite his worried demeanor he is
nonetheless human.

VII.  Thou shalt look with dark suspicion upon him who saith, after some
tinkering, "This box is not worth fixing," and then departeth hastily.
Look also with suspicion upon him who saith, "Verily, this is the finest
piano mine eyes have beheld," for they both bear false witness.

VIII.  Respect the ear of the tuner. Say not unto him, "I took three
fiddle lessons, therefore I know this note is false." Thy tuner is a
trained man and he heareth exceedingly well.

IX.  Thou shalt not give heed unto him whose mouth is filled with
slanderings of every competitor within three days journey. Rather shall
thou say in thy soul "forsooth, it were better he spent more time
learning his business and less in criticizing his neighbor".

X.  Study well the meaning of words. "Tuning" is not "Rebuilding." And
if thou sayest to the tuner, "Come at high noon on Wednesday," do not
let that hour find thee at the beauty shoppe nor yet at the bargain
counter, for thy tuner is a busy man with no time to waste.
--

Carl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Carl Fischer,