free

[Richard Moody]

>
> NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
>
> >
> > To the citizens of the United States of America,
> > In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus
> >to
> > govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
> > independence, effective today.


DUH. . !   ?     We HAVE an *elected* president.  His term doesn't expire
until some where around Jan 20th 2001, well, --- after the Super Bowl.
Sorry,  you have to wait until then and already the line is very long
including two Grand mothers who were DAR.   rip








> >
> > Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
> >
> >over
> >all states, commonwealths and other territories.  Except Utah, which she
> >
> >does not fancy.  Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP
> >for
> >the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world
> >outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the
> >need
> >for further elections.  Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.  A
> >questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of
> >you noticed.
> >
> >To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
> >rules are introduced with immediate effect:
> >
> >1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
> >Then look up "aluminium".  Check the pronunciation guide.  You will be
> >amazed at
> >just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.  Generally, you should
> >raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels.  Look up "vocabulary".
> >Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such
> >as "like" and you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
> >communication.  Look up "interspersed".
> > 2. There is no such thing as "US English".  We will let Microsoft know
> >on your behalf.
> > 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.
> >It really isn't that hard.
> > 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
> >the good guys.
> > 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
> >Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.  We would not want you
> >to get confused and give up half way through.
> >6. You should stop playing American "football".  There is only one kind
> >of
> > football.  What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
> >game.
> >The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
> >borders
> > may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football.  You will
> >no
> > longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
> >Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.  It is a
> >difficult game.  Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to
> >play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not
> >involve stopping for  a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar
> >body armour like nancies).  We are hoping to get together at least a US
> >rugby sevens side by 2005.
> >7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
> >they give you any merde.  The 98.85% of you who were not aware that here
> >is
> > a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.  The
> >Russians
> >have never been the bad guys.  "Merde" is French for "shit".
> >8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday.  November 8th will be a new
> >national holiday, but only in England.  It will be called "Indecisive
> >Day".
> > 9. All American cars are hereby banned.  They are crap and it is for
> >your own good.  When we show you German cars, you will understand what
> >we mean.
> >10. Please tell us who killed JFK.  It's been driving us crazy.
> >