Backchecking Height and an incredible help

[David Andersen]

on 5/31/03 8:33 AM, antares@euronet.nl at antares@euronet.nl wrote:

> btw, what do you feel when you have an attack of the rheumatoid
> arthritis? (I have no idea really).

It's a disease that attacks and inflames the joints...fingers, wrists,
shoulders, knees, right hip, ankles, and toes, in my case; some in my
cervical spine.

Also extreme fatigue, constant mouth dryness, eye irritation, serious loss
of arm, hand, and leg strength.

It's different then the much more common form of arthritis, osteoarthritis,
which is calcium build-up and cartilage wear, and most often not
debilitating in and of itself.  RA(rheumatiod arthritis) is much more
serious, and can deform and destroy joints, connective tissue, and
eventually internal organs if left untreated.

I've had mild flare-ups of RA for years, but basically taken some Excedrin
and soldiered on.  Life isn't allowing me to do that this time; this thing
has kicked me in the side of the head for the past 3 months and said,
"you gotta deal with this, bubba, or face living on disability and
eventually in a wheelchair."

So....It's been a pretty interesting journey of discovery, pain, depression,
research, fear, courage, and ultimately gratitude and hope.

Thanks for asking.

Some things I've learned:
1) I take almost everything I'm able to do completely for granted.
2) When people who care about you want to help you, it's not pity.
3) It's OK to ask for help.
4) You have to be your own doctor first; trust your intuitive intelligence;
if something doesn't feel right for you, it's probably not.
5) Literally ALL I have control over is my own awareness, my own attention.
(a lesson one keeps on learning and forgetting all one's life, it seems)
6) Feeling sorry for yourself is a boring drag, and gets old pretty quick;
I  have an incredible life with a tremendous amount to be grateful for;
 f**k the victim mode.

With warmth and fondness, my friend;  I feel your goodness......

David Andersen
Malibu, CA