Bottom this!

[Z! Reinhardt]

Can't resist throwing in one of my Nightmares in Noise ...

Was sent out to tune a concert rental that was to be played at a grand
opening party for a large department store located in the glitziest shopping
mall north of Detroit.  Piano was located in the thick of the ladies' shoe
department, which meant kicking aside countless expensive shoes just to get
near the piano.  Countdown before the party was barely 2 hours ... chatter
on the PA system was virtually continuous, lots of activity at close range
as people tried to arrange the rest of the shoe displays.

Three maintenance men came around with 3 of the biggest, noisiest vacuum
cleaners I had ever seen or heard and proceeded to vacuum every square inch
of floor, including the area immediately around and under the piano.  They
were so loud and not quite in unison that I could not hear the bass strings
no matter how hard I hit the keys.  I literally tuned by touch, feeling for
beat speeds through my arm against the front stretcher.

The event producer came around to ask how everything was going.  I could
hardly hear her voice.  I could only tell her to use her imagination, and
the piano will sound like 3 vacuum cleaners.  The look on her face when she
finally realized what I had said had me laughing for about a year.  I took
her aside and tried to explain to her what it was I wasn't hearing over the
vacuum cleaners.

"What do you mean you can't hear what you're doing?  I thought you were a
professional piano tuner!"

Needless to say those maintenance men took a good hour to vacuum the
immediate area, then moved on to another nearby area.  They were still too
loud for any kind of careful checking of work, and by then, countdown was
just short of 20 minutes, and I was expected to be out of there to allow
them the time to set up the shoe displays again.  Oh well.

(This was before the days of my SAT with the magnetic pick-up.)

Z! Reinhardt  RPT
Ann Arbor  MI
diskladame@provide.net

----- Original Message -----
From: "David Renaud" <drjazzca@yahoo.ca>
To: <pianotech@ptg.org>
Sent: Tuesday, June 17, 2003 1:43 AM
Subject: Bottom this!


Ok, I think I can bottom it.
Check this out......


Casino, opening day,
tuning a rental.

1) blankets over piano/ hamering
   over piano to hang fixtures.

2) Staff commences testing all the toys and
   slot machines. Opening is in one hour.
   Noise builds as hundreds of bells
   and whistles are engaged.

3) A window lift comes up beside my window,
   the man is holding a grinder to remove
   excess mortar from between the bricks.
   ...grrrrrrrddrrddrrrddddrrrrrrdddr!!!!

4) Opening day....the fire department shows
up to check the fire alarm. Think about it;
a casino may not have yet another bell or whistle
for a fire alarm as everyone would ignore it.
It is a AIR RAID SIREN......INDOORS!
You must leave the building if you wish to
retain some hearing.

   I called the dealer, held up the phone,
there was laughter at the other end,
I did not think it was funny at the time.


Bottom that one.....

                  Cheers
                  Dave Renaud
                  RPT
                  Canada





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