Piano from Hell

[Michael or Margaret Kurta]

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    Rob:
    Sounds like not only was the piano from hell, but so was the =
customer.  I hate unreasonable piano owners.  However, if I have the =
time, I'll take one on.  By that I mean I look at the owner as a =
challenge to educate and eventually win him/her over to my way of =
thinking.  When confronted by a piano from hell, and its obvious that it =
should not be repaired, I make a list,  the most important and expensive =
things first.  In this case your list was very long, but honestly =
reflected the items needing attention. =20
    Then by going down the list WITH the owner, explaining in detail =
item by item what the instrument needs to make it usable, and why, the =
customer will begin to realize (without you telling him) that it may be =
a lost cause.  But if you start out your analysis by saying "it is a =
dead piano and there is nothing left to fix" you may encounter =
resistance. =20
    The idea is to let the customer's thinking flow into the obvious by =
gently pointing out the many, many things the piano needs to bring it =
back to good playability.  Occasionally I'll use a quote from my mentor =
Frank McKowen, RPT from Lansing, MI who said, "You deserve a better =
piano."  This sometimes enables the owner see the light.
    If all that you say falls on deaf ears, its time to pack up your =
tools and say, "You know Mr. Pianist, I'm not sure I can handle this =
job, its probably best to try another technician."  Leave him with hope =
that there may be an answer, and let another reinforce your findings.  =
Maybe that will head him in the right direction,  you've done all you =
can do. =20
    Mike Kurta =20
  ----- Original Message -----=20
  From: Rob Goodale=20
  To: Pianotech=20
  Sent: Friday, July 09, 2004 11:54 AM
  Subject: Piano from Hell


  I had one of my worst experiences as a piano technician this morning.  =
I got a call from a guy who told me his piano needed tuning and repair.  =
I agreed to take the job.  Upon arriving I about fell over.

  It turned out to be a 90 year old "Metropolitan" full upright.  It was =
the biggest pile of crap I have ever seen outside of a land fill.  I =
immediately started in how old the piano was and probably not worth =
fixing but he quickly cut me off and in a heavy British accent told me =
to "please fix it".  The "thing" had been painted white.  He was now in =
the process of painting it gold which he proudly proclaimed was =
"restoring the finish".  Chunks of wood were missing out of the case.  I =
opened it to find that the action was not even screwed in place, just =
laying in the piano.  There was one broken treble string and the bass =
strings were black with corrosion.
  There was a crack running under the bass bridge and the apron was =
loose.  There were broken bridal straps, broken hammers, and several =
others that had been previously broken and reglued with string.  most of =
the hammer return springs were out of place and some were missing.  One =
sharp was missing, the key bushings were worn out, someone did a poor =
job at recovering the keys, and the pivot pin on the sustain pedal had =
been sheared off completely and the bushing block was shattered.

  He continued on about what a "great piano" it was as I looked at the =
sad heap.  I calmly explained that there was simply nothing left to fix, =
the piano was dead and what he needed was a new piano.  He came back =
with "You Yanks, your all alike.  You throw anything away.  In England =
we would never throw out a fine instrument like this!"  Then he bragged =
about how he KNEW what he was talking about because HE was a pianist!  =
(Oh golly silly me, I should have worshipped his feet on the spot!)  =
Then he proudly announced that he bought it from an auction so it MUST =
be a good piano!  (Now there's reasoning for you).

  I continued to explain that I was trying to save him money, that it =
would cost him far more to repair than to replace it.  He demanded to =
know how much.  I explained that it would cost hundreds just to make it =
produce sound again and even then it would be nothing but trouble.  "Oh =
no I don't want to do all that, I just want it REPAIRED, you know, so =
that it works"!  (Excuse me didn't I just say that?  Do we need =
subtitles for this conversation?"  I then explained that what the piano =
really needed was a complete restoration and that would cost at least =
$10,000.00.  "I'm trying to save you money, this piano is NOT worth it, =
you really should consider buying another piano".  He again reminded me =
that he was a pianist and that he knew this piano was worth it and that =
it really didn't need that much work.  Finally I just told him flat out =
that I couldn't help him and that I really didn't have the time to spend =
three days working on it.  His disposition continued to get worse as I =
made a hasty exit.

  Shame on me... after all this guy was a "pianist" and got it from an =
auction so he MUST know what he's talking about!

  Rob Goodale, RPT
  Las Vegas, NV





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