Comic relief

[Alan R. Barnard]

I know there are some out there who can say "No Maam. I only work on Steinway B or D pianos in excellent condition." But for me (and I'll bet a lot of other folks out there) the proper response to this question is "Yes I can. It will cost a minimum of $Umptyump. I'll need a deposit of $Halfanumptyump to order parts and get started."

If they balk, they've made an informed decision. If they accept, I make some bucks--holding my nose and begging them not to tell anyone I "rebuilt it."

Been there. Done that. (Pride is actually quite tasty if you put plenty of catsup on it.)

Alan Barnard
Salem, MO
Joshua 24:15






Original message
From: PIANOTECHNICIAN at aol.com
To: pianotech at ptg.org
Received: 01/22/2007 3:22:24 PM
Subject: Comic relief


Here's a funny story to take all our minds off the serious business of life for a few moments. I got a call from a new customer a few months ago who said that she just picked up a baby grand at a tag sale, and that the piano needed tuning (you all know the ending of this story - ha ha ha! ). So I told her I would check out the piano in my spare time, which I did. Firstly, it had no name on it, even on the plate! The lid hinges were shot, and the piano needed refinishing. The sound board had such a wide, long crack that the living room carpet was clearly visible through the crack from many different angles. Most of the tuning pins were loose and rusty. The dampers were all old and squished and failed to dampen anything.  Most of the hammers were so out of alignment that they were binding on each other, so about 40 of the notes didn't work. The lyre was not attached - for some reason it was in the other room!  Instead of telling the woman the truth - -that the piano needs only 2 things -- a gallon of gasoline and a cigarette lighter, I told her that the condition was poor and that she should dispose of it. She asked me if I could just make it "just good enough for her children to take piano lessons on." Lord, why me?
 
Jesse Gitnik
Flushing, NY 
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: https://www.moypiano.com/ptg/pianotech.php/attachments/20070122/d946d3a3/attachment-0001.html