How vermin benefit mankind

[Annie Grieshop]

How vermin benefit mankindWhy, Alan, you seem to have stumbled upon the
pianistic cousins of the dermestid beetle, beloved helpers of taxidermists
and forensic folk.  It might have been a team effort, however, if both the
cloth and the glue were gone.

Annie Grieshop

 -----Original Message-----
From: Alan Barnard [mailto:pianotuner at embarqmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, October 03, 2007 11:16 PM
To: pianotech at ptg.org
Subject: How vermin benefit mankind


  Case file: Customer calls with a 1920s Gulbransen upright which was, until
undergoing a major tubes-and-bellows-ectomy, a player, but now coaches in
the minor leagues. It lives at a resort where it was stored, unplayed by
humans, for 10 years on a screened porch. "It still sounds great," says the
owner, "but the tuning might need touching up." (Yes, think I, and the
Titanic might need a new paint job, too.)

  Inspection: Actually not too bad. 60 cents flat, or so. Bass a little
tubby. Tuner also a little tubby, but that's another story. Some mouse
damage and a giant mouse nest under the bass keys.

  Worst physical problem: Keys rattle and wobble like crazy at the front
rail. I put them in Spurlock racks and take them to Ye Olde Shoppe for
rebushing without even bothering to  look at the undersides of the keys.

  UFO Sightings and Other Weird Stuff: I turn the keys over on the bench,
ready to soak, steam, yuck and pluck the old felt out. Ain't none. Gone.
99.9  percent gone; clean, no damage to the wood, mortises look like they
were just cut. Only two teeeensy vestiges of red felt left to give evidence
that they keys had ever been felted. Nice surprise to find 1/2 the job done!

  Mystery: Who et 'em? Roaches? Moths? Tiny aliens? Mice would have torn up
the wood and couldn't have got up into the mortises so effectively,
methinks.

  Reason for Wondering: I want to find the perps who did this. I want to
domesticate them. I want to train them to do this work on demand; their
craftsmanship or, should I say, craftsverminship is excellent. I want to
rent them out, as a team, to you other techs for big bucks.

  Ohandbytheway: After reinstalling the keys, easing and squeezing, removing
about three bucketsful of lost motion, etc., the piano really is, as I was
told, not to durned bad. It has a big, rich sound, is very musical, and
plays well. Whaddayaknow!

  Alan Barnard
  Salem, MO
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