[pianotech] just another boring recital... Details

mick johnson mickjohnsonrpt at gmail.com
Sat Dec 11 08:24:38 MST 2010


Alright. The story:

 Senior composition recital. This was the guy who has been doing prepared
piano stuff here for the past few years, and this is (was) his piano that he
and I had been experimenting with. He originally  wanted to finish the show
by smashing it with a sledge hammer when I remembered that a good buddy of
mine from college is the marketing director for a local building supply
warehouse. Every year as part of a promo they challenge the Kearney Fire
Dept.  to a race to see who can cut an automobile in half faster – the
firemen with the jaws of life, or the DeWalt team with cordless
reciprocating saws. My friend called the regional rep for DeWalt and it was
game on.

 Being the final piece of the recital, it began with a professor from a
neighboring college improvising on a theme. The composer came out and began
loosening the strings as it was being played. At the halfway point I came on
and started cutting the strings to clear a path for the saws.

The pianist left and the saws came on , accompanied by the new music
ensemble behind the curtain.

 Cutting the car in half takes about 2-3 minutes.  After 30 minutes, 8
battery changes and 16 blades, there was still a little bit of plate holding
the piano together. It was another 20 or so blows with the sledge that
finally brought her down, much to the relief of the patient crowd.

 Afterward, we tipped the halves of the carcass onto a dolly and took it out
back to the dumpster.



I think I still have a job.  We’ll see on MondayJ.

-- 
Mick Johnson, R.P.T.
University of Nebraska, Kearney
Kearney, NE
308-237-9264
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