<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML><HEAD> <META http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; = charset=us-ascii"> <META content="MSHTML 6.00.2900.2722" name=GENERATOR></HEAD> <BODY> <DIV>You Might be a Redneck Piano Tuna if You Think... </DIV> <DIV>1) "Action = Spread" is something you put on a sandwich. 2) "Checking the Hammer" means to leave your = weapon at the door. 3) An "Interval" is the time between beers. 4) = "Regulating the Action" is what you're doing when you take a laxative. 5)  = "Agraffe" is something you see at the zoo. 6) A "Punching" is what you give = someone you don't like. 7) A "Bridle Strap" is something your wife wears on your = wedding night. 8) "Action Geometry" is trying to figure out the crap table odds. 9) "A Set of Knuckles" is something you might purchase before = going to a redneck club. 10) A "Pure Fifth" is a bottle of 100 proof = liquor. 11) A "Backcheck" is something you might do from time to time in a  redneck  club. 12) "Butt Felt" is = something you might get either in a large crowd or in  San Francisco. 13) A "Butterfly Spring" is something you might = see performed at a  gymnastic event. 14) A "Let off Button" is something you push so that the bus = driver knows  your stop is coming up. 15) A "Center Pin" is a = bowling term. 16) "Bedding the Frame" is making sure the  Stark Spinet  goes all the = way to the  bottom of the = lake. 17) "Young Chang" is old Chang's son. 18) That "not enough dip" means = that it's time for more chewing tobacco. 19) A "whippen" is something your = Daddy gave you when you were bad.</DIV> <DIV>and = the following compliments of Alan Barnard:</DIV> <DIV>20) Balance rail is gymnast's equipment <DIV>21) Tuning hammer is small sledge with which you wack the %#$&#ing carburator</DIV> <DIV>22) Regulating jigs is high school dancing rules</DIV> <DIV>23) Caster cups is hold your trot-line poles</DIV> <DIV>24) Cheek block is turning your head to avoid old Aunt = Bertha's sloppy kiss</DIV> <DIV>25) Belly rail is where you order beer and eat pretzels</DIV> <DIV>26) Soft pedal is how you approach your wife after = spending time at the belly rail</DIV> <DIV>27) Hammer butt is an intestinal disorder caused by = too much time at the belly rail</DIV> </DIV></BO= DY></HTML>