<HTML style="FONT-SIZE: x-small; FONT-FAMILY: MS Sans Serif"><HEAD> <META http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=windows-1251"> <META content="MSHTML 6.00.2900.2722" name=GENERATOR></HEAD> <BODY> <P> <DIV>Found these "features" on an under-the-lid label of a nondescript 60's Wurlitzer spinet. Pretty funny ...</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Award Winning Cabinet Design -- must have been from the CTTSFI (Cheap, Tacky but Trendy Sixties Furniture Institute)</DIV> <DIV>Precision Crafted Keys & Action -- drop wires, rubber grommets, wood and felt, like all the others</DIV> <DIV>Longer Copperized Bass Strings -- longer than what? Copperized! Ooooo ....</DIV> <DIV>Tonecrafted Hammers -- This means: "We glued cheap felt onto somekindawood moldings and maple sticks."</DIV> <DIV>Laminated Hard Rock Maple Pin Block -- Really innovative ...</DIV> <DIV>Three Working Pedals -- Yeah, yeah ... I used to have a tricycle with two working pedals and three, count 'em, three working wheels.</DIV> <DIV>Ten-Year Warranty Including Finish -- Expired by now, most likely.</DIV> <DIV>Moisture Seal -- Well, if you spent most of your life swimming in the ocean, you'd be moist, too! Actually, I haven't got the faintest inkling of the remotest notion of the least idea of what the heck this was supposed to refer to. Can you hype something that doesn't exist in the first place?</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Oh, well put these with terms like "Harmi-tone."</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Gag.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Alan Barnard</DIV> <DIV>Salem, Missouri</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <P></P></BODY></HTML>