<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML><HEAD> <META http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1"> <META content="MSHTML 6.00.2800.1106" name=GENERATOR></HEAD> <BODY id=role_body style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #000000; FONT-FAMILY: = Verdana" bottomMargin=7 leftMargin=7 topMargin=7 rightMargin=7><FONT id=rol= e_document face=Verdana color=#000000 size=3> <DIV> <DIV>Andre,</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Very thoughtful post.  It's sometimes easy to forget that there is= a person at the other end of that e-mail.  </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>I feel like your post should be engraved somewhere as list etiquette!</= DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Thanks for the reminder,</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Dave Stahl</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>In a message dated 1/27/05 11:33:14 AM Pacific Standard Time, antares@euronet.nl writes:</DIV> <BLOCKQUOTE style="PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; BORDER-LEFT: blue 2px solid"><= FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #fef9b4" face=Arial color=#000000 size=2>= As an email person, I noticed over the years that on any e-mail forum <BR>it is very e= asy to get into a small or even a big brawl over whatever.<BR>E-mailers hardly= ever see each other, and e-mailing in general is a <BR>very risky business= because e-mailers miss eye contact and body <BR>language, and a sentence o= r even just a word may result in a possible <BR>un-asked for and un-wanted reaction.<BR><BR>Getting agitated, irritated, frustrated and even insulted= or hurt, <BR>depends on the flammability, character, and personality of an <BR>individual.<BR>It is very often better to take some time and distance = from an e-mail <BR>full of 'words', instead of pulling out the guns and knives pronto.<BR>We all have our weaknesses, and me, IO in the very first place.<BR>I know I may have hurt or insulted people on this list, but I ca= n <BR>assure you that for at least 99% it was un-intentionally. If you got <BR>hurt by me, please read this last sentence again and please except my <BR>sincere apologies right now!<BR><BR>If someone has an introvert and sh= y personality, that person may <BR>perhaps never take part in the never endi= ng piano discussion on DA <BR>list. That's not bad, that's just how it is, an= d we have to accept it.<BR>That person just reads and thinks about it, or does = not think about it <BR>at all afterwards.<BR>They are called lurkers, so I lea= rned when I tried to understand and <BR>improve my English (with the help of a = kind and helpful American <BR>friend).<BR><BR>If you dare to come forward and s= how at least something of your being, <BR>you take part, and you are able to exchange your thoughts.<BR>If you have an extrovert personality, you take = part of this list maybe <BR>every day, and you chat with many, and discuss all kinds of issues all <BR>the time.<BR><BR>If the latter is the case, it mig= ht very well be possible that at least <BR>some of the many words you type in= will be understood in a wrong way, <BR>and unintended.<BR>If so, that pers= on will then be corrected. or even get punished <BR>immediately, because the other person or persons who felt insulted, or <BR>hurt, have a need to retaliate, which is understandable... we're all <BR>humans ok?<BR>I myself= have a so called extrovert or outgoing personality, which <BR>means that I= am aware of the dangers of "showing up, of showing <BR>yourself".<BR><BR>What= I am actually trying to say here, is that, in order to not let a <BR>possibl= e conflict escalate, it is also possible to remain quiet, to say <BR>nothing= for at least a while, and wait and see how things develop.<BR><BR>If you feel = the need to correct a co-subscriber, we could take Dale <BR>Erwins way of "diplomacy" as a very good example of how to say what you <BR>have to say,= and at the same time show mercy towards the person who <BR>"gets on your nerve".<BR><BR>In that case, stabbing and lashing out, is unnecessary and = an <BR>escalation has been put off and avoided.<BR><BR>If you 'weigh' your thoughts, you weigh your words       .......<BR><BR><BR>Where 'music' is no harm can be<BR><BR>André Oorebeek<BR>Amsterdam<BR>The Netherlands<BR></FONT> <DIV></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE></DIV></FONT></BODY></HTML>