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<DIV><FONT face="Bookman Old Style" size=7><STRONG><U><EM>The Daily =
Doggie
News</EM></U></STRONG></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT size=5>Today's Top Story</FONT></STRONG></DIV>
<DIV>Associated Press: <STRONG>THE POODLE THAT ATE =
FLORIDA</STRONG></DIV>
<DIV>____________________________________________</DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=3><FONT face="Century =
Gothic"><STRONG>S</STRONG>cientists
confirmed today that they are baffled about the</FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>mad poodles that have taken =
over the
state. It is alleged</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>that strange forces =
generated by
hurricanes have somehow</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>mutated their =
alignment within the
space-time continuum.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>One eyewitness claimed =
seeing a
fifty foot poodle consume</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>several children.
Another report states that two schnauzers</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>had crashed a hotel where an =
Elvis
convention was underway</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>and then proceeded =
to chase
terrorized impersonators into</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>the parking =
lot.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>Animal control =
officer Bowser
Barker admits that they have </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>been helpless in containing =
the mad dog
spree. "It's</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>just amazing... we've =
tried
milkbones, kibble, squeaky toys;</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>whatever we do they just =
won't stop",
Barker said.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>Within the hour =
officials will
attempt to lure the mad dogs</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>out of town using a giant =
chuckwagon
gravy covered</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>wagon. If successful =
they will be
rounded up by the</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>British military. =
According to
Officer Barker "they have</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>experience with mad dogs and =
Englishman". Although</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>poodles are notoriously =
tough and more
difficult to prepare</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>several Asian restaurants =
have expressed
interest in the</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>remains. PETA plans on =
protesting
but since no one else</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Century Gothic" size=3>gives a crap except =
themselves there was
no comment.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Calisto MT"
size=3>----------------------------------------------------------------=
---------------------------------</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>> This, my dear friends, is NOT urban myth, as =
I<BR>>
remember it being reported at the time of the<BR>> hurricane. In a =
few short
days after Andrew struck,<BR>> abandoned dogs became feral and were =
trying to
kill<BR>> and eat children. No kidding. Poodles.<BR>>
Right here, in this college town of 100,000, =
a<BR>>
pack of 6 dogs attacked a woman pushing her baby<BR>> stroller three =
years
ago, smack dab in the middle of<BR>> an "upscale" intown =
neighborhood! If
you're curious, I<BR>> can probably find the newspaper account =
for<BR>>
verification.<BR>> Therefore, how much MORE likely =
that
dogs in an<BR>> abandoned wastleand of debris, deprived of =
their<BR>>
"Kibbles&Bits", would do the same?<BR>> "Man's Best =
Friend"?'<BR>>
Thump<BR></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>