Customer Relations

[Mark Cramer]

This is a multi-part message in MIME format.

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Absolutely loved your story John!

We memorized the last paragraph and threw it back and forth around the shop
all day!  "I'm sorry for the confusion":>)
Haven't laughed so long in a while. Sweeeeet!

Actually, after twenty years of practicing diplomacy and friendliness as
core business values, I did slip across the lines of professionalism a
couple weeks ago.

I had an invitation over the phone I just had to decline. The owner asked me
to come and "fix-up" a piano he'd just bought for his daughter to learn on,
and "bring some new ivories along too," cuz of course "that's all it
needed."

Well, in the backgournd I could hear the daughter plunking away in vain to
try extract music from this ancient PSO / POS (pardon me, I've forgotton
which is the politer anacronym!?) The unisons were semi-tones and and
everything buzzed and sounded fuzzy. It was a wreck, and none of us need see
it to know that.

Anyhow, I've kind of tired lately going door-to-door pronouncing
post-mortems on pianos the previous owners couldn't care enough to maintain,
and new owners were too cheap to pay a real price for. However, the more
politely I tried to decline my service, the more insistant this "red-neck"
owner became.

The picture I was getting was that "Bubba" had just gone out and made the
"clean kill." He'd beguiled and be-devilled the unwitting owners into
letting a $400.00 treasure slip into his hands for a slim $175.00. He was
now "the king." Or at least he would be Saturday night at the bowling alley,
when he could captivate his peers with this heroic tale.

And all that was needed was to inform the piano-tuner (that itinerant,
frustrated musician-type that isn't any good for 'real' work) that this was
his lucky day. "Come on over, have a beer, then down to the basement to wave
your magic wand, I'll even screw in the light bulb for ya." Then when it was
done, I would have to grind out some tunes  (just ones he kenw the words
to), until he figured he'd got his $20.00 worth, then I could go buy some
food for the family, and keep the change!

Well, with this "more accurate than you'll ever know" picture in my head,
and the sound of this pathetic peice of crap (the piano, not the owner)
belching out noise in the background, it was just TOO MUCH. I started to
laugh, and I couldn't stop, I couldn't help myself.

I guess I just realized after years of paying dues, of working on
less-than-ideal instruments, under less-than-ideal circumstances for
less-than-ideal clients, I really did not HAVE to work for this person. And
this epiphany had likely taken place over a number of years, manifest by the
number of clients that had been culled out, and the high level of
satisfaction and appreciation gained from the comparitive few I now work
for.

The poor guy on the other end of the phone however couldn' t possibly
realize the vivid juxtaposition he'd unwittingly created. And he wasn't
having the easiest time with my response either. I finally gathered myself
for a moment and apologized, then simply said "Peter, I really don't even
want to see your piano." I apologized again, and explained that if I came
over for even a minute, it would cost him $62.00 and tax, and I still
wouldn't be able to "fix-up" his piano for him.

Well, I'm sure he's not all that pleased with me, even if I saved him some
$70.00 bucks, and I'll probably never get any referrals down at the local
bowling alley. Nonetheless, and be assured this is not typically how I my
handle clients, every now and then those of us who "serve" the needs and
whims of others faithfully need to let off some steam and have a good laugh.

IMHO, this discussion group is probably the best and safest place to do
that, and I thank you again John for sharing that little nugget with us!

Ma k C  m r
 r ad   Un  e ty
(Name withheld to avoid the PC Police)




Our  department secretary forwarded a request for private tuning in his
home recently. Here is the meat of our email exchange:

ME: I received your email from the music department. What kind of piano do
you own? Do you need a tuning only, or more extensive work? I do some
outside tuning, so let me know what you need.


HIM: The piano is a small upright, I think I've heard it called a spinnet
or something, but I'm not familiar with piano lingo. I believe the brand
is Acrosonic by Baldwin. It's fairly old, been in the family for a while
and just arrived at my house. As far as I can tell it only needs tuning. I
just learned that it's best to let the piano sit for a month and acclimate
before tuning it, but I'm not sure if that's accurate or not?

ME: Sounds fine. How about a tuning in a few weeks at x time and x date?

HIM: How about giving me a price and some references I can call first?

[I gave this quite a bit of thought and came up with the following]


ME: I assumed you had been referred to me. I do private tuning by referral
only. Sorry for the confusion.

END OF THE STORY!


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