Funny Tuner Stories

[Bill Ballard]

I heard this story from someone who had apprenticed with the late Tony
Novinski of KC, MO. He did his first tuning on an old upright for a sweet
old lady. It involved a pitch raise of 100¢. They agreed he would tune it
on a regular basis from then on . However, things fell apart at that second
tuning. She refused top pay him for it, saying, "It wasn't a real tuning.
It didn't sound like a trombone." He left in a blue streak.

I was squeak-chasing the trapwork of a M&H AA in the home of  fine and
righteous fmaily. She was the HS chorus director, he was the professor of
low brass at the State College in town. They had two teenage daugthers. On
the pedal rod guide bar, I found a dessicated but clearly used
prophylactic. The husband was at home so I pointed it out to him. I was
expecting the twinkle in my eye to be contagious, but  it wasn't. Just a
straight poker face. I didn't get to do another tuning there.

Looks like Jim Burton gets to publish a volume two with minimal effort.  ;-)

Bill Ballard, RPT
New Hampshire Chapter, PTG

"Remember, men, you're fighting for this lady's honor. Which is more than
she ever did."
	 Groucho Marx in "Duck Soup"