"Message to Clyde" (Stumped by the Censure)

[Robin Stevens]

Hi List.
I am posting this letter in the hope that Clyde gets to read this.
About a week or two ago Clyde, commenting about something I wrote, called me
a "she" instead of a "he".
Now... being a "Red Blooded Male" I thought that I should visit Clyde at his
Computer and quietly explain to him that "Boys are spelt Robin, and Girls
are spelt Robyn"
So.... getting straight  to the point I called the subject..... "WRONG
S,followed by a letter then a X"
Pushing the send button I thought that  was all I needed to put Clyde in the
picture.
But on arriving at "Clyde's" computer I was met at the door by two very
nasty guards who promptly knocked me to the floor with the words... "Message
rejected by Clyde"...deeply imbedded in my forhead.
Now..... not being one to give up easily I changed the wording to...WRONG
GENDER"...,which I thought would not offend the meekest of souls.  Then I
waited till cover of darkness and very quietly pressed  the send button in
the hope that I could sneak past those ever vigilant guards
NOT SO!!
Immediately I arrived at the guard house they were waiting for me...
.KAPOW!!.. Straight down to the canvas with the words ringing in my ears
...."You are FOREVER banned from Clydes Computer".... It seems that they had
decided that I was a site of "ILL REPUTE"  (Shame,Shame).
So Clyde if you get this message could you please slip down to the guard
house and explain to those "ornory" guards that Robin Aussie at
Pianotun@Globalfree.com.au is only a "Little Ole Piano Tuner" and does not
deserve to have his name etched deeply in the guard house wall with the rest
of the undesirables. And if you do manage to convince them, I promise to
never never to use the "S,followed by a letter then,X" word again.
Robin (Who shaves every day)Aussie.