[pianotech] Fw: Sunday's Funnies

[John Ross]

----- Original Message ----- 
From: William Rowland 
To: Undisclosed recipients
Sent: Sunday, June 07, 2009 11:18 AM
Subject: Sunday's Funnies


Childrens' Letters to God 

Dear God:
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool!
- Eugene
~~~
Dear God:
Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
- Norma
~~~
Dear God:
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
- Katy
~~~
Dear God:
Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
- Alex
~~~
Dear God:
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway.
- Your friend (but I am not going to tell you who I am)
~~~
Dear God:
If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her.
- John
~~~
Dear God:
I want to be just like my daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.
- Sam
~~~
Dear God:
I bet it is very hard for You to love all the people in the world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.
- George
~~~
Dear God:
Of all the people who worked for You, I like Noah and David the best.
- Michael
~~~
Dear God:
My brothers told me about being born, but it doesn't sound right. They are just kidding, aren't they?
- Christopher
~~~
Dear God:
If You watch me in church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
- Cathy
~~~
Dear God:
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school, we learned that You did it. So I bet he stole Your idea.
- Sincerely, Courtney
~~~
Dear God:
I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want You to know that I am not just saying this because You are God already.
- Charles 

------
The Gift of Giving


Delighted by the gift she had received, the lady spoke warmly to the boy delivering it to her: 


"At church tomorrow, I'll thank your mother for this lovely pie, but in the meantime, you tell her I really appreciate it!" 

"If you don't mind, Ma'am," the boy suggested nervously, "Would you thank her for two pies?"

------

Time Sheets

A lawyer dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band. Saint Peter runs over, shakes his hand and says "Congratulations!!!"

"Congratulations for what?" asks the lawyer.

"Congratulations for what?!?!?" says Saint Peter. "We're celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old."

"But that's not true," says the lawyer. "I only lived to be forty."

"That's impossible," says Saint Peter. "We've added up your time sheets."

------

And finally, this just in from Charlie:

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn 5 or 6 times, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, and dropped her cell phone and makeup in the process. While she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.


He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘What would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk; naturally... I assumed you had stolen the car.




-$3 ("Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't matter.")
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