[pianotech] marketing buzzwords under the lid

[Mark Purney]

Sometimes while tuning, I'll read the propaganda the manufacturers put 
under the lids or on the plates of upright pianos. Usually, it's to brag 
about some piece of magic technology that was used in the piano to make 
it better than all other pianos. (In reality, this stuff appears more 
frequently on pianos that are clearly not better than all other pianos.) 
But has anyone noticed they really went overboard with this stuff back 
around the 1960s? I really need to start photographing these when I run 
into them and start a collection. About 40 or 50 years ago, the 
marketing buzzword people just got totally out of control, making up 
cool-sounding stuff to impress us.

I think I remember seeing something about a "unique Baldwinization 
Process" (or something equally ridiculous) that they were bragging no 
other manufacturer has. Yet they didn't really explain what it was.

I can just imagine the confused piano buyers going from showroom to 
showroom. "Well the last piano we looked at had the Ultralaminatacular 
soundboard, but this one says a rocket scientist did the scale design. 
That sounds good, too."  "Does this piano have the Jungle Safari 
tropic-proofing?"  "Can we get Ivorglide keytop technology on this model?"