[CAUT] New Laws

[Thomas Seay]

How about this one:

The Law of Inverse Proportion

The price and/or size of the part or tool you left in your shop and 
can't finish the service call without is inversely proportional to 
the amount of time, expense and distance required to return to the 
shop and get it.

Ask me how I know!

Tom

>No, only the last one was my contribution.  I had forgotten the one
>about bass string breakage in Churches - that should be added.  It is
>not anonymous, though - it originated by Jim Harvey in the 70s.  I
>herewith re-submit the laws, as amended and re-cleaned up.
>
>DM
>
>>  -----Original Message-----
>>  From: caut-bounces@ptg.org [mailto:caut-bounces@ptg.org] On
>>  Behalf Of Jeff Olson
>>  Sent: Tuesday, February 14, 2006 10:24 PM
>>  To: College and University Technicians
>>  Subject: Re: [CAUT] New Laws
>>
>>
>>  Those are good, Don.  Are they original to you?  (I can
>>  personally confirm the reality of most of them -- even the last
>>  one, I'm chagrined to admit ;-)
>>
>>  Jeff O.
>
>-----------------------------------------
>
>New Laws
>
>Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with
>grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
>
>Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the
>least accessible corner.
>
>Law of probability: The probability of being watched is
>directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
>
>Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never
>get a busy signal.
>
>Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work
>because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will
>have a flat tire.
>
>Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one
>you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
>works every time)
>
>Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the
>telephone rings.
>
>Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you
>know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be
>seen with.
>
>Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a
>machine won't work, it will.
>
>Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely
>proportional to the reach.
>
>Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest
>from the aisle arrive last.
>
>Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
>your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the
>coffee is cold.
>
>Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a
>locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
>
>Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly
>sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly
>correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
>
>Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
>
>Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know
>what you are talking about.
>
>Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
>
>Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
>
>Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really
>like, they will stop making it.
>
>Piano Tuner's Law: The best way to get a customer to come into
>the room during a tuning is to pass gas.
>
>Law of Holy String Breakage:  The frequency of bass string breakage is
>directly proportional to the length of the name of the church.
>
>
>_______________________________________________
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