Is this normal procedure?

[Phil Bondi]

Les Smith wrote:

Hi Les..when I saw your name on this RE, I KNEW I was in for a verbal
spanking!!..but read on, please..


> Hi, Phil:
>
> In a word, NO, two months to do 137 pianos does not seem like a long time
> at all. In fact, on the face of it, it should be a piece of cake for a
> young guy on the move like you. The sweat shouldn't begin to bead on
> brow until you find you have gotten yourself ino a situation where you're
> have to tune 8-10 pianos a day and AFTER getting the contract you decide
> to inspect the pianos and find that they have ALWAYS been tuned by the
> lowest bidder--read here WORST, MOST INEXPERIENCED TUNER  available-- and
> the last time even he tuned them--really crappily, believe me--was a
> couple of years ago. Oh,oh.

..i hear you loud and clear, my friend..

> Then, after patting yourself on the back for getting the contract for
> all of $20 per piano

..sorry..I'm not that hungry, Les.

> --if you had bid $21 per, you would have lost out
> to some guy who works at the local steel-plant and tunes "professionally"
> on the side--you go to start tuning the pianos--which you, of course, did
> not even think of inspecting first--and discover that they are all 25-50-
> or more cents flat IN THE MIDDLE, with their basses and trebles much
> worse because HEY, WHY TUNE THOSE NOTES, NOBODY PLAYS THEM ANYWAY; even
> worse, all the pianos are widly unstable because they are tuned as
> infrequently as possible by the cheapest tuner dumb enough to bid the job.
> In case you have forgotten, you have signed a contract to tune all those
> pianos to "concert-pitch", by a specific date, for $20 a piece. And
> that's the GOOD news!

..I LOVE IT!!

> As you start tuning, you discover that these pianos all have loose pins,
> (in some cases, tight pins will have been WD-40ed!): broken, missing and
> half-assedly replaced strings; wobbling, missing and mismatched hammers,
> totally-missing dampers,( not even in the bottom of the piano): shot and
> broken-in half pedals with their connecting rods sometimes missing; all
> manner of sticking keys and assorted action parts; and, of course, the
> actions themselvews haven't been regulated sinece they left the factory.

actually, I've played a couple of these gems for assorted engagements that my
daughter was a part of in Grade School and high school..on a scale of 1-10, I
give the pianos I played on a solid 5, maybe 4!

>
> If you are "lucky", your contract says that you will be paid-- get ready--
> $!0 per hour for any repair work THAT MIGHT be needed. If you're not
> lucky and your contract says nothing about actually PAYING you for such
> additional work, consider donning a Groucho Marx disguise, changing your
> name and phone number and moving out of state. No kidding. You're stone
> cold dead. From now on, your local chapter will refer to you as the LATE
> Phil Bondi! :)

..what chapter?..am I missing something here?..!

> Further, If you're considering bidding this thankless job-- or another
> similar to it-- at a great discount from your regular price because of
> all the extra high-quality, full-price business you hope to get from
> music-teachers and others FORGET IT.

..already know that, Les

> Even when you DO get such business
> from tuning for "professionals" at a local college or the  Philharmonic--
> much less a regular grade school-- their personal, at-home pianos will
> turn out to be just as bad--if not worse--than their instruments at
> school.  You will discover Steinway, Baldwin and other similar
> quality grands in deplorable condition and yourself in a position
> where you're "given the privilige" of working on these grossly-negelected
> instruments and making them right for heavily discounted, bargin-basement,
> slave-labor prices. As far as doing such work for such people goes, pardon
> my language, but the words are appropriate: SCREW THEM!

..gee..that was the nicest thing you've said so far!

> Now my bid estimate of &20 per piano could be wrong. It may be HIGH. The
> last instance I know of personally, occured about three years ago and the
> winning bid--for about 150 such pianos--was $18!

..Les, rest assured..I don't leave the house unless I get my price..and I can
guarantee you my price for this job is WAY beyond that figure..

<BIG Snip about Boris>

> When people call Phil Bondi and ask him to tune their piano, it should
> be because they want the BEST, not the cheapest. Don't ever sell yourself
> short.

..that's one thing that you don't have to worry about with me, Les..i either
get my price or I stay home..

..I have a figure in mind that is not far below my regular price,,and I DO
mean not far..the problem I see is scheduling..I DO have regular customers and
i DO work with a Dealership that is on a roll right now..I have plenty of
work..actually, I expect my bid( and I WILL bid the job..this way I can see
who got the bid) to come in so high that it's thrown out instantly..if I am
awarded the bid, then simply, I got my price.

it works for me.

Hey Les..thanks for taking the time to write the Gospel According to Les..it's
always a great read!!

Phil