Dogs

[Newton Hunt]

> The Best Lessons In Life I Learned From My Dog
>
>     Perk your head up every few minutes to make yourself look useful
>
>     Place your mess next to someone else's to hide or confuse the blame
>
>     Acting tough is more useful than being tough
>
>     It is acceptable to tear down fences when you are overly romantic
>
>     Move around the room every few minutes to hide the source of your gas
>
>     Groan with pleasure when you enjoy a good back scratching
>
>     Sleep often when you are no longer a pup
>
>     The sad, pitiful look works better on humans than showing teeth
>
>     Chasing your tail distracts the children from your real plans
>
>     Don't drag dead animals into the house when people are watching
>
>     Give them the best darned greetings when they come home and they will
>     think you care
>
>     The back underside of the sofa is the best place to hide things
>
>     Humans do not like it when you sniff their back underside
>
>     If you squat too low, the mess sticks to you instead of the ground
>
>     Act like the only thing you care about is food, and they will give you
>     nifty treats
>
>     When in doubt, sniff it!
>
>     Avoid doctors; they remove things that never grow back