Mom-Mother-Mama OT (but in a different vein)

Greg Newell gnewell@ameritech.net
Mon, 09 Dec 2002 17:43:27 -0500


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For the Mom's among us. Could also apply to the Dad's too!


>>Hi:  This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, none of us 
>>would
>>have done it!!!!
>>
>>POSITION: Mom, Mama, Mother
>>
>>JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term team players needed for challenging
>>permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess
>>excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing
>>to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and
>>frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required,
>>including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless
>>sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not
>>reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
>>
>>
>>RESPONSIBILITIES: For the rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated,
>>at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to
>>bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack
>>mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
>>in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just
>>crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical
>>challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and
>>stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
>>coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to
>>plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and
>>mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an
>>embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety
>>testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated
>>devices.
>>Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
>>Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end
>>product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
>>janitorial work throughout the facility.
>>
>>
>>POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to
>>remain in the same position for years, without complaining,
>>constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your
>>charge can ultimately surpass you.
>>
>>
>>PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately. On-the-job
>>training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
>>
>>
>>WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them! Offering frequent raises and
>>bonuses.
>>A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the
>>assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
>>When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing
>>about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish
>>you could only do more.
>>
>>
>>BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no
>>tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
>>this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth
>>and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
>>
>>
>>Forward this on to all the moms you know, in appreciation for everything
>>they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated.
>>
>>
>>
>>I THINK,   THERE FORE I AM... .. .. IN TROUBLE!!!!
>
>Greg Newell
>mailto:gnewell@ameritech.net

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