Oh yeah.... I forgot about hammers

[Richard Brekne]

Keith McGavern wrote:



Hi Terry...

Thought you might get a kick out of this.. It was sent to me by my 
father of all people.. he is as blue as they come... but  he has a sense 
of humour.

Cheers
RicB


Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:
>  >   Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's
>  > daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with
>  > him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden"
>  > diversion.
>  >   Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but
>  > trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international
>  > harmony.
>  >   A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
>  > multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
>  > without regulation.
>  >   Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary
>  > Clinton.
>  >   The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
>  > speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
>  >   If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
>  >   Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing
>  > health care to all Americans is socialism.
>  >   HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public
>  > at heart.
>  >   Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
>  > creationism should be taught in schools.
>  >   A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable
>  > offense.
>  >   A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands
>  > die is solid defense policy.
>  >   Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
>  > Constitution,  which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
>  > Internet.
>  > The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George
>  > Bush's cocaine conviction is none of our business.
>  >   Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
>  > conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers
>  > for your recovery.
>  >   You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John
>  > Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the
>  > right to adopt.
>  >   What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest,
>  > but what Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.
>  >   Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other
>  > people, we're likely to be stuck with Bush for 4 more years.