Thanks, y'all!! I'm totally overwhelmed!! (OT and personal)

[Sarah Fox]

Y'all,

I really don't know what to say, or perhaps more accurately, I'm not sure
how to say it.

This email list was the first list I have ever joined as a rank-and-file
human being with no visible gender issues.  I have made a number of
wonderful friends here from all over the world.  I've had the unusual
experience (for me) of being right with myself and right with those around
me for the first time in my life, AND being accepted as a regular, everyday,
nothing-wrong-with-me, everyone-welcomes-me-into-the-fold,
not-everyone-agrees-with-me-but-who-cares, honest-to-goodness human being.
I've honestly never experienced that before subscribing to this list.
Sadly, it's an experience I doubt many of you can fully appreciate, at least
to the extent that I have experienced it.

When the "it" post was made, my heart sank.  You see, I've spent years of my
life fighting for the civil rights of the transgender community.  It was a
long, hard, thankless slog, but I felt obligated to do it.  I eventually
reached the point that I could no longer endure the pain and sacrifice of it
all, and I felt as though my hard work was no longer making any headway in
the movement.  Having put in four years of hard service to my people, I felt
I deserved a "discharge," and so I retired and made myself a "civilian"
again, and I have been very content in "regular" life.  When the "it" post
surfaced, I knew what I had to do, and I HATED having to do it.  I was being
called back from the reserves, and I knew that the only effective way to
address these issues would involve "outing" myself.  Vacation ended.  Would
I have the same friends afterwards?  Would I have a scarlet letter "T"
branded on my forehead?  Would my little oasis of normalcy still be normal?

As this issue has unfolded, the people on this list have surpassed my
expectations in their support for my maligned little community, and I have
been very touched.  However, when I thought I had put this issue to bed,
exhausted and frazzled, I was met with the same back-handed phrase that has
been wielded against me for decades, "Let's all pray for Sarah."  Perhaps it
was sincere, but that's not the way I read it.  I admit I fell apart.

Feeling pretty wounded, I pulled myself from the computer and tended to
dinner and other matters.  When I later returned to my computer, I could not
believe my eyes.  In my in-box, accompanying one insulting email of
predictable origin were a half dozen supportive emails from friends and from
people I had never even heard of, expressing their thanks for having taken a
position -- and then a couple more (no, three), just now.  And then I opened
up my pianotech folder and found numerous emails from more of the people I
care about, all expressing support for this issue -- and a couple of
critical emails, again of predictable origin.  Now I'm in the odd position
that I'm totally fried, I need to go to bed, and I don't have the energy to
respond to so many emails tonight!  I'll respond in private later, and I
hope y'all understand.  I've already made all the points I intend to make on
list, and those points do not need to be belabored.

Anyway, I want you all to know how very much I appreciate your standing with
me in the face of bigotry.  My tears of outrage have become tears of joy,
and I must say it's been a helluva day on the roller coaster!  Thank you all
for being my friends.  (And thank you too, John, for being sincere, even
though you and I don't entirely connect on these points!  I apologize for my
aggressive tone with you in one of my posts.)  I'll be going to bed very
tired tonight, but I'll be going to bed with a more optimistic outlook than
I have had in a very long time.  Tomorrow is a new day, in a world that is
far more enlightened that I had once thought.  Thanks for giving that to me,
y'all!

Peace,
Sarah