Things customers say that I'm still not sure how to respond to.

[David B. Stang]

Things customers say that I'm still not sure how to respond to:
(And the responses I say in my head but not out loud)

"Can I get you anything?"
 - How about espresso and a brownie
      (What does "anything" cover? Are they just asking if they can do 
something
         to make the job easier e.g. turn the lights on, or is it OK to 
ask for coffee ??)
  
"You must have good ears"
- Well, uh, actually they're pretty average. It just took a while to 
learn this beat stuff.

"Cool computer with the spinning thing on it! What's it do?"
- It's much too complicated. Let's just say it does a bunch of math.

"My uncle (grandfather, neighbor, third cousin) was a piano tuner. He 
had perfect pitch."
- Great he could tune pianos in spite of the handicap.

"Piano tuning is a dying art, isn't it?"
- Do I look like that much of a geezer?

and of course, at the end of the job,
"HOW BAD WAS IT?"
- The poor thing was in terrible shape since it's been a decade since 
you last cared to get it tuned.

Any advice about the best ways to actually respond?   ("Best", as in,  
"Keep the customer"!)
Thanks,
Dave


David B. Stang
Columbus Ohio