Kwazy Kustomers

[MITCH KIEL]

      We've been trading stories about kwazy kustomers working on their own
pianos. Here's one to make y'all smile on tax deadline day.
      This is absolutely true.

      A few years ago, two guys walked into the piano store where I tune. They
introduced themselves as sailors from the nearby US Navy base. They'd been
ordered to rebuild a piano at the Officer's Club. They were at the piano store
because they wanted to buy parts, including hammers, dampers, string, everything
(including 7 cans of black enamel spray paint). Qualifications: one guy had an
uncle (long dead) who was a tuner. Piano: 80 year old 5 foot non-descript piece
of crap.
       For 30 minutes I tried to dissuade them, but once the military makes up
its mind...
      So I ordered them parts, and insisted they also buy Reblitz and a few
tools.
      Before their parts had arrived, the sailors returned with the keys for me
to recover. As he handed me the box of keys, the smarter (??!!) sailor said,
"You were right to try and warn us. Working on pianos is harder than I  thought.
It was really hard to get these keys of the piano!"
      "Oh, really? How'd you do it?" I said.
      "Well, first we cut off all the strings and lifted out that heavy yellow
metal thing. Then, we unscrewed and removed the long rack with all the hammers.
And finally, we lifted the keys out through the top."

      Your tax dollars at work.
      Top this story, if you can.

Mitch Kiel