Why is it that...?

[Farrell]

"7.  Samick doesn't understand that in order keep grands from wobbling you must use sufficient glue in the leg joints?      Answer: Piano makes a great martini shaker"

This reminds me of a friend of ours that while visiting one day asked if the holes in the plate along the treble hitch pin area of our 1900 Bechstein grand were drink holders. She was dead serious. As a matter of fact, I think that might have been the last time we invited her over (just kidding).

Terry Farrell
  
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tom Driscoll" <tomtuner@attbi.com>
To: "'Pianotech'" <pianotech@ptg.org>
Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2003 6:22 PM
Subject: RE: Why is it that...?


> 
> 
>  
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: pianotech-bounces@ptg.org [mailto:pianotech-bounces@ptg.org] On
> Behalf Of Robert Goodale
> Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2003 3:23 PM
> To: pianotech@ptg.org
> Subject: Why is it that...?
> 
>  
> 
> Why is it that...  A collection of rhetorical questions regarding stupid
> things that piano companies have done.  (No particular reason for this,
> just something to make fun of).
> 
>  
> 
> Tom Driscoll answers select questions below.
> 
> Why is it that....
> 
> 1.  Yamaha puts such ridiculous tiny brass wheels on the U1 that they
> serve no purpose in moving the piano? Answer: It's too heavy to move
> anyway
> 
> 2.  Steinway can't grasp the concept that the sostanuto rail belongs in
> the piano and not on the action?           Answer: completes the circle
> of sound
> 
> 3.  Some makers both today and yesterday don't machine the plate bridge
> so that it has a defined termination point?
> 
> 4.  Some Asian companies, (at least in the past), don't allow room
> between the strings and plate for a temperament strip?
> 
> 5.  Baldwin doesn't miter the ribs on their uprights so that they don't
> come loose in humid climates?
> 
> 6.  Yamaha and Kawai insufficiently glue the dowels that hold the
> removable front in place so that they inevitably fall out?
> 
> 7.  Samick doesn't understand that in order keep grands from wobbling
> you must use sufficient glue in the leg joints?      Answer: Piano makes
> a great martini shaker
> 
> 8.  Kimball used such flimsy bracing on some smaller uprights that you
> could alter the pitch just by lifting on the keybed? Answer: Tighten the
> mezzo thermonial stabilizer
> 
> 9.  QRS thinks that a sustain solenoid should be an option and that
> somehow "magic fingers" will sound the same? Answer: Who cares? It's a
> player
> 
> 10.  The Kincade/Grand piano company thought standard plywood from a
> lumber yard was sufficient for a soundboard?  Answer: They didn't want
> to outclass the rest of the piano
> 
> 11.  In the 1970s Wurlitzer forgot that pin blocks must be glued into
> the piano so that they don't separate from the back? Answer: Glue is
> expensive
> 
> 12.  PianoDisc can't make an operating system that will read general
> midi 1 format and not just midi 0?Answer:See #9
> 
> 13.  Everett decided that the best way to secure the top of an upright
> piano was to use hex head screws?  : Answer: No joke here---Just good
> security
> 
> 14.  Some 1970's consoles have tenor tuning pins so close together that
> you can't get a tuning hammer on them?  Answer: It's a lever not a
> hammer
> 
> 15.  Various manufacturers built the case in such a way that you can't
> get a tuning hammer on the bottom 'A' pin?Answer: See #14
> 
> 16.  Some mute rails are so poorly designed they can't be adjusted to
> work when they should and not when they shouldn't?
> 
> 17.  Key buttons were omitted in Whitney spinets to save money but
> inevitably resulted in wobbly keys? Answer: Same as many other makers
> 
> 18.  Kimball thought that inventing the "Le Petite" grand was a good
> idea? Answer: It's so cute!
> 
> 19.  Baldwin decided that the top of a Hamilton should open like a
> Pontiac? Answer: I like that idea. If only the fallboard was as easy to
> get out!
> 
> 20.  Story & Clark proudly boasted about their CFS scale but the sound
> still sucked? Answer Perhaps it means: Chuck F ***ing Sucks?
> 
> 21.  Aeolian thought that key weights should be placed on both sides of
> the balance rail pin? Answer: Symmetry
> 
> 22.  Wurlitzer came up with the idea of the ever fashionable naugahide
> cases? Answer: Don't Knock the Fifties!
> 
> 23.  If at first you don't succeed, how about naming it "Betsy Ross"?
> Answer: When in doubt wave the first flag!
> 
> 24.  Any company that has a decal of a gold medal from some exhibition
> is automatically assumed superior? Answer: By whom?
> 
> 25.  Particle board is not only used in pianos construction but is still
> proudly advertised as "solid wood"? Answer: Well it was once!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, your turn, I've only scratched the surface here.
> 
>  
> 
> Rob Goodale, RPT
> 
> Las Vegas, NV
> 
>