Gender of God, and other piano-realted stuff - ENOUGH ALREADY

[pianotune05 at comcast.net]

Dean,
Just do what Paul did to a guy whos's name I cannot recall, Paul the Apostle that is, he turned this guy over to Satan for blasphemy. He turned him over to Satan to teach him a lesson.  
Marshall
ps. I'm curious how this thread got started myself.

-------------- Original message -------------- 
From: "Dean May" <deanmay at pianorebuilders.com> 

> Let's see: you are poking fun at the most internally consistent 
> philosophical paradigm of the universe by using the wisdom of fictional 
> cartoon characters or the guttural nonsense of a very vile man. If that's 
> the best you got I'll stick with the wisdom of the ages. 
> 
> Dude, stop showing your prejudicial hostility towards things Christian and 
> try exhibiting a little more tolerance. 
> 
> Dean 
> 
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: pianotech-bounces at ptg.org [mailto:pianotech-bounces at ptg.org] On Behalf 
> Of Geoff Sykes 
> Sent: Monday, June 19, 2006 4:10 PM 
> To: tune4u at earthlink.net; 'Pianotech List' 
> Subject: RE: Gender of God, and other piano-realted stuff - ENOUGH ALREADY 
> 
> : Prophet (American Heritage Dictionary): The chief spokesperson of a 
> movement or cause. 
> 
> : Apostle (American Heritage Dictionary): A passionate adherent; a strong 
> supporter. 
> 
> : Gospel (WordNet, Princeton University): The written body of teachings of a 
> (religious) group that are generally accepted by that group. 
> 
> OK, so I got a little picky in the definitions that I chose. But that said, 
> and while agreeing that, (depending upon what the definition of "is" is), 
> "God" "is", let's see if we can make this just that much sillier! Here's the 
> testimony that I received: 
> 
> "Christians use Hell to scare people into believing what they believe. But 
> to believe in something just because you're afraid of the consequences if 
> you don't believe in something is no reason to believe in something." 
> -- Homer Simpson 
> 
> 
> And then --- 
> Asked by Bart what his religious beliefs are, Homer answers, "You know, the 
> one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work in real life. Uh, 
> Christianity." 
> 
> 
> No one would mistake Homer Simpson and his family for saints. In many ways, 
> in fact, they are quintessentially weak, good-hearted sinners who rely on 
> their faith -- but only when absolutely necessary. 
> -- Michael Medved 
> 
> 
> "(The Simpsons) have captured a very common understanding of who God is," 
> said Glodo, of Reformed Theological Seminary. "It's a very functional view 
> of religion." 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And with that, I'm running for cover. 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: pianotech-bounces at ptg.org [mailto:pianotech-bounces at ptg.org] On Behalf 
> Of Alan Barnard 
> Sent: Monday, June 19, 2006 12:15 PM 
> To: Pianotech List 
> Subject: RE: Gender of God, and other piano-realted stuff - ENOUGH ALREADY 
> 
> 
> God ... the ultimate inconvenient, yet absolute, truth. 
> 
> How on earth did this silly thread get started? Why am I perpetuating it 
> even one more keystroke? 
> 
> Oh yeah, to declare out of necessity a portion of my resolute testimony: God 
> IS. You have the testimony of prophets and apostles from Adam to the present 
> day and you have the absolute right and capability to receive your own 
> testimony. 
> 
> Don't let fear stop you. 
> 
> Alan Barnard 
> Salem, Missouri 
> 
> P.S. If this post offends anyone, they have my sympathy. 
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: Geoff Sykes 
> To: Pianotech List 
> Sent: 06/19/2006 12:44:09 PM 
> Subject: RE: Gender of God, and other piano-realted stuff - ENOUGH ALREADY 
> 
> 
> Let's lighten up, people. If you can't follow George's proposed new third 
> commandment, (see end of article), then please take this conversation to a 
> forum where it is appropriate. May I suggest the following Google search: 
> http://groups.google.com/groups/search?q=god+male+female 
> 
> ===================================== 
> 
> GEORGE CARLIN ON THE 10 COMMANDMENTS 
> from "Complaints and Grievances" (HBO special) 
> 
> Here is my problem with the ten commandments- why exactly are there 10? 
> 
> You simply do not need ten. The list of ten commandments was artificially 
> and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here's what happened: 
> 
> About 5,000 years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got 
> together to try to figure out how to control people and keep them in line. 
> They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were 
> told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a 
> mountain, when no one was around. 
> 
> Well let me ask you this- when they were making this s**t up, why did they 
> pick 10? Why not 9 or 11? I'll tell you why- because 10 sounds official. Ten 
> sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it's a decade, 
> it's a psychologically satisfying number (the top ten, the ten most wanted, 
> the ten best dressed). So having ten commandments was really a marketing 
> decision! It is clearly a b******t list. It's a political document 
> artificially inflated to sell better. I will now show you how you can reduce 
> the number of commandments and come up with a list that's a little more 
> workable and logical. I am going to use the Roman Catholic version because 
> those were the ones I was taught as a little boy. 
> 
> Let's start with the first three: 
> 
> I AM THE LORD THY GOD THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME 
> 
> THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN 
> 
> THOU SHALT KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH 
> 
> Right off the bat the first three are pure b******t. Sabbath day? Lord's 
> name? strange gods? Spooky language! Designed to scare and control primitive 
> people. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives 
> of intelligent civilized humans in the 21st century. So now we're down to 7. 
> Next: 
> 
> HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER 
> 
> Obedience, respect for authority. Just another name for controlling people. 
> The truth is that obedience and respect shouldn't be automatic. They should 
> be earned and based on the parent's performance. Some parents deserve 
> respect, but most of them don't, period. You're down to six. 
> 
> Now in the interest of logic, something religion is very uncomfortable with, 
> we're going to jump around the list a little bit. 
> 
> THOU SHALT NOT STEAL 
> 
> THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS 
> 
> Stealing and lying. Well actually, these two both prohibit the same kind of 
> behavior- dishonesty. So you don't really need two you combine them and call 
> the commandment "thou shalt not be dishonest". And suddenly you're down to 
> 5. 
> 
> And as long as we're combining I have two others that belong together: 
> 
> THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY 
> 
> THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE 
> 
> Once again, these two prohibit the same type of behavior. In this case it is 
> marital infidelity. The difference is- coveting takes place in the mind. But 
> I don't think you should outlaw fantasizing about someone else's wife 
> because what is a guy gonna think about when he's waxing his carrot? But, 
> marital infidelity is a good idea so we're gonna keep this one and call it 
> "thou shalt not be unfaithful". And suddenly we're down to four. 
> 
> But when you think about it, honesty and infidelity are really part of the 
> same overall value so, in truth, you could combine the two honesty 
> commandments with the two fidelity commandments and give them simpler 
> language, positive language instead of negative language and call the whole 
> thing "thou shalt always be honest and faithful" and we're down to 3. 
> 
> THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR"S GOODS 
> 
> This one is just plain f****n' stupid. Coveting your neighbor's goods is 
> what keeps the economy going! Your neighbor gets a vibrator that plays "o 
> come o ye faithful", and you want one too! Coveting creates jobs, so leave 
> it alone. You throw out coveting and you're down to 2 now- the big honesty 
> and fidelity commandment and the one we haven't talked about yet: 
> 
> THOU SHALT NOT KILL 
> 
> Murder. But when you think about it, religion has never really had a big 
> problem with murder. More people have been killed in the name of god than 
> for any other reason. All you have to do is look at Northern Ireland, 
> Cashmere, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and the World Trade Center to see 
> how seriously the religious folks take thou shalt not kill. The more devout 
> they are, the more they see murder as being negotiable. It depends on who's 
> doin the killin' and who's gettin' killed. So, with all of this in mind, I 
> give you my revised list of the two commandments: 
> 
> Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie. 
> 
> & 
> 
> Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a 
> different invisible man than you. 
> 
> Two is all you need; Moses could have carried them down the hill in his 
> f****n' pocket. I wouldn't mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the 
> courthouse wall, as long as they provided one additional commandment: 
> 
> Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself. 
> 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: pianotech-bounces at ptg.org [mailto:pianotech-bounces at ptg.org] On Behalf 
> Of pianotune05 at comcast.net 
> Sent: Monday, June 19, 2006 9:21 AM 
> To: Pianotech List 
> Subject: Re: Gender of God, and other piano-realted stuff..... 
> 
> 
> Definitly faith I would attest. Now we're getting into even deeper 
> theological topics which I know I'd get in trouble for discussing because 
> they're not piano related. Someone else who's been a piano tech longer than 
> I who isn't new might get by with it.:) All I will say is that discussing 
> those who wrote Scripture then opens the door for the topic, then who truly 
> wrote the Bible the people who thought the earth was flat or God inspiring 
> them? I know the answer, but I'll leave it for another list. Marshall 
> 
> -------------- Original message -------------- 
> From: "Robin Blankenship" 
> 
> What evidence do you have for that assertion, Luis? Or, is this statement 
> just to be taken on faith............ 
> 
> Robin Blankenship 
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: LuisGalvez at aol.com 
> To: pianotech at ptg.org 
> Sent: Monday, June 19, 2006 11:23 AM 
> Subject: Re: Gender of God, and other piano-realted stuff..... 
> 
> 
> Remember that the people who wrote the bible thought the earth was flat. 
> 
> Luis Antonio Galvez-Alcantara "He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he 
> thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up." 
> www.tenors.net 
> 
> 
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