Antares, Some day it is my hope to have the pleasure of meeting the person who wrote this post. Mother Goose Joe Goss imatunr@srvinet.com www.mothergoosetools.com ----- Original Message ----- From: "antares" <antares@EURONET.NL> To: <pianotech@ptg.org> Sent: Friday, February 22, 2002 9:24 AM Subject: tolerance and behaviour, the key to good relationships > Dear Colleagues, > > An afterthought on the recent string of e-mails about quarrels over 'the > other tuning' from one of our colleagues who continually defends himself in > a rather aggressive way, is a master in putting back the negative charge > into 'the other camp', and retaliates on any constructive criticism : > > In the first place I would like to make clear that it is not my intention to > hurt or insult anybody in the world. > One might ask : then why do you write this down? > > Well, that has to do with the fact that I feel an irritation, caused by > someone who repeatedly irritates others. > I recognize this irritation because it is the same person over and over > again, and also about the same subject over and over again. > > I also have noticed over the years that I am not alone in my feeling of > 'discomfort'. > There are many others on this list who got into an argument with the same > person and about the same subject. > The pattern is recognizable too : > A discussion about this tuning changes into an argument....the flames get > higher and higher and..... after a short while the fire extinguishes..... to > stir up again sometime later etc etc. > The person I am talking about then does not show up on the list for some > time, we sort of cool off and tend to be forgiving and wish to forget what > it was al about....... > but then........ there we go again! another heated argument and again about > the same subject, which is a tuning that this person likes so much that a > debate always has to - and must - end in favor of that very same person, who > uses sharp defensive language, and in this case mostly accuses 'the other' > of being wrong, being aggressive, and being mistaken. > > From my point of view the argument is not at all about the subject it all > started with (I am now talking about a different tuning, different from ET). > How could we get into a heated argument about a different tuning? It is only > highly recommendable that - anyone - does research in order to expand > his/her knowledge in regard to for instance his/her profession (or for any > other reason, as knowledge is the key to wisdom). > > I therefor have come to the conclusion that there must be something wrong > with the psyche of this person because our e-mail history shows a recurring > pattern of arguments, irritations, fights, and finally insults and all these > have to do with the same person and the very same subject : a different > tuning, being 'supposedly' under attack. > > I am not a shrink, but after all those years of fiery and displeasing e-mail > fights with the same person, always in the middle, we can not deny that > something must be wrong here with this one person. > I have been a subscriber to this list for a long time (sometimes on and > off), so I do have some e-mail knowledge of the personalities involved in > this group. I am more than convinced that most, if not all, are hard working > and pleasant technicians, given the fact that they take an active and > positive part on the list, and as a professional in the field. > I am more than convinced that nobody is 'out for your blood' because you are > so happy with that special tuning. > On the other hand, this is a public forum for piano techs so it is > unavoidable that discussions arise, that is the nature of this forum: to > discuss piano technical related issues. > > I therefor would like to give some humble advice...... > Ask yourself this : > why do I have to defend myself so often on this list? > Why do I spend hours on writing e-mail letters in which I tell others that > they are wrong, that they are mean, that they know nothing about it all, > that it is time they should fade out and come back when they have reached my > level or altitude? > > When we ponder enough, and long enough, on these questions it might be, no > it - IS - possible to acquire at least some self-knowledge. > Through self-knowledge, we have the ability to rise a little above > ourselves. When we rise a little above ourselves, we get a broader view, we > see ourselves more clear and distinct, and, we can also see others at the > same time in connection and relation to ourselves. > I myself make many many mistakes all the time, but if I am not able to > recognize my own patterns how could I ever learn from my errors? > > Lastly.... > I am nobody's adversary. I wish to be friends with everyone and it would be > nice to be able to discuss piano technical related issues here in a normal > manner, without irritations and hurtful misunderstandings. > > friendly greetings > from > > Antares, > > Amsterdam, Holland > > "where music is, no harm can be" > > visit my website at : http://www.concertpianoservice.nl/ > >
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